Oh, dollar pizza.
I'll never forget the first time we met! I'll admit I was hesitant at first... how can pizza that's $1.00 be any good? There's pizza that's $2.00 just across the street!
But my friends knew better, they'd lived in New York for longer. And they were much more shit-faced.
I had that first bite of you and I knew right then and there that this friendship could go the distance.
Remember when I moved into my first apartment?
I was so broke and scared and hungry, but you—you were there.
Remember when I broke up with that guy... what was it Brian, Ryan, Kryan? Yeah, Kryan. Kryan and I were at that bar on the LES and we got into that huge fight because he's "not a relationship guy" (.......).
I got SO tanked and I had to get out of there.
I was planning to drown my sorrows in more shots, but then, I saw you there, alone, glorious and solitary on 1st Avenue.
You soothed my soul and my stomach that night. I needed those carbs, boo.
You always know what I need.
You've seen me at my highest highs and my lowest lows, and yet...
You love me, even still.
And I love you, dollar slice.
Even when you're not that great.
Seriously, sometimes you're just okay. Some places only have veggie, and frankly, I don't want a slice with broccoli on it—get that shit outta here!
And sometimes you hang out at those weird dingy joints with faded headshots of Jerry Orbach on the wall? I hope I'm not the first one to break this to you, but Jerry Orbach isn't auditioning any more...
Also, you are too greasy for those skinny ass plates! You need to get you a plate with some substance!
Seriously, you can do better. We've been over this! I have the grease burns to prove it.
You're gonna do you though, dollar slice. You always do. I think that's what I love about you. There's no one quite like you. You just GET it, you know? Which is why I can't stand to see some mouth-breather cut you into pieces with shitty plastic utensils!
Sorry, I just get protective. You know this.
You've seen me through it all.
Remember New Year's 2014? Cuz I friggin' don't—there's just like 6 pictures of me on Instagram inhaling pizza, so I'm assuming you were there too. Because who else would I want to ring in the new year with? You're the one I go to whenever I'm sad, mad, happy, scared...
And hungry AF.
So, here's to you dollar slice, long may your crust run thin.
I promise not to eat you with a fork.[Feature Image Courtesy Fresh NYC]