Did you wake up feeling good this morning? Were the birds chirping outside your fire escape and the sun shining through your windows?

That's wonderful. We hope you enjoyed that. Because it's all about to be shot to hell. 

We apologize.

In case you've forgotten how poor you are as a New Yorker, we're here to bring you a friendly reminder. 

In fact, we'll do you one better: a complete and detailed rundown of how strapped we are as a city, by category. 

Happy Wednesday?

Let's start off with the big one. The most obvious. The bane of our existence. Her name is Rent. According to logical yet wildly unrealistic reports, humans should be spending no more 30% of their income on rent. LOL. 

This is nearly impossible for the majority of New Yorkers, and we have stats to back that up. StreetEasy estimates that rent costs in NYC accounted for 58.4% of the median income. Cool.

And while most of us might assume that we'll be renting forever, there exists a threshold in which buying begins to make more sense. Apparently, if a New Yorker intends to stick around for more than 5 years, they should consider buying rather than renting. We repeat: LOL. 

[anad]

Transportation is yet another financial beast that New Yorkers face. No, most of us don't have car payments to worry about, but MTA costs seem to be rising every minute. The cost for a monthly subway pass is now $116.50, compared with the $100 cost of monthly metros in Chicago and LA. 

Uber fares in NYC also clock in as the highest rates in the country, and 8th highest worldwide. Awesome.

When it comes to food, whether you choose to eat out or prepare food at home, you can't really win. We know that restaurant prices are absurdly high comparatively, but turns out that a trip to the grocery store can also set you back quite a bit - up to 39% more than the national average. 

Thank God for bodegas - NYC's saving grace. Luckily,  you can grab items like almond milk and quinoa from your corner deli for a lower cost than other areas of the U.S.

A little more good news. While high-end shops like Bergdor's and Bendel's cause the cost of clothing in NYC to skew higher, the number of discount shops in the city, as well as the Godsend known as online shopping, allow for plenty of other options if you can't afford to drop $500 on a sweater. 

fullaccessnyc

Obviously, because of the absurd living costs we've mentioned, raising children in the city does not come cheap (or easy - strollers on the subway? Actual hell). The national average for a nanny is up to $13.44 /hour, but most NYC sitters charge at least $20/hour.

Seeing as how April 15th has recently come and gone, the extraordinary costs of NYC taxes should come at no surprise. 

The summary of costs that the city has taken from your paychecks over the past year is enough to drive any level-headed New Yorker to madness. Income tax ranges from 2.907%-3.648%. Ugh. 

And if all of this upsetting news drives you to seek solace in some good old NYC entertainment, that'll come at an absurd cost, too. The cost of a movie ticket is a ridiculous $15, not to mention Hamilton tickets, that are not only $400 but legitimately impossible to procure. 

Of course, there's plenty of free stuff to do around the city. It's jut a matter of looking for it. 

Good luck out there, kids. 

Check out Was Uber Actually Delivering Food Stored in a Midtown Warehouse.