I know you're still holding onto these last days of summer like Leo holding onto that soggy door at the end of Titanic, but it's time to move towards better things!
Plus, maybe Rose changed her mind about a guy she'd only known for one friggin' day!
Read on to see why fall (or to the fancies among us, AUTUMN) is seriously the best season around.
Suck it, spring! You know what you did.
Check out all of the can't-miss cool sh*t going down this fall right here.
1. Weather done right
Not too hot, not too cold, what am I Goldilocks over here? And for those of you transitional weather-truthers out there: MAY I SUGGEST A LIGHT JACKET.
Fall weather is the most perfect weather of all, and is with us for such a short time before winter's icy hand has us by the nards for the following 5 months.
2. Comfy clothes!
What better way to hide the fact that your beach bod is turning into a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown than with a cozy knit?
It may seem overwhelming to dress for fall because of the infinite number of boot/scarf/cane combos, but not to worry: if you get in over your head just tell someone you were testing out Halloween costume ideas: "Garbage. I'm dressed as Garbage. Any more questions?"
3. Scary movies!
Don't go in there! RUN! Are you seriously checking to see if he's dead RN!?! Ughh. Who are the people in these movies, and what universe do they live in that they don't understand dramatic narrative?
October is of course the key scary movie watching month, but get started now because there are so many good ones to see!
Revisit classics from the 1970s such as The Exorcist, Rosemary's Baby, and The Shining and work your way forward to some of the best horror flicks from recent years such as It Follows and The Cabin In The Woods!
4. All. Pumpkin. Everything.
Come at me haters! You get a pumpkin, you get a pumpkin, I EAT THE PUMPKINS!!! To be clear, I would prefer if the pumpkins were crushed into a fine powder and mixed with a f*ck ton of brown sugar and cinnamon, tho?? Thaaanks.
If you've glanced into a Starbucks lately, you know that pumpkins are walking around in there like they own the place. And I for one welcome our new pumpkin overlords! Except for that one pumpkin who's running for President though - that guy is the WORST.
Okay, I tried to make a new word and it didn't QUITE work, but you get the idea. Since fall has the perfect weather and we are well-suited in our comfy sweaters, now it's time for some serious autumnal action!
Apple picking, pumpkin carving, hay rides, haunted houses, and of course watching football with a bottle of your favorite pumpkin beer. There's no shortage of fall fun to be had in and around NYC!
Take a day trip up the Hudson on MetroNorth to pick some fruit off a tree like a real like suburbanite, and then get the bejesus scared out of you at New York Haunted Hay Ride over on Randall's Island because variety is the pumpkin spice of life, AMIRIGHT?[Feature Image Courtesy Blavity]