The holiday season is all about celebrating the big guy upstairs.

No, not Him. We're talking about Santa.

And during this time of year, there's people dressing up like St. Nick everywhere you turn. 

Some charge you a fee, some ask you what gifts you're hoping to receive, and some are so convincing that you find yourself buying into the folklore a little.

Because of these various Santa wannabees, a pecking order inevitably emerges. It's pretty clear which Santas demand respect, and which are just plain laughable.

If there ever were to be a Christmas special entitled America's Next Top Santa (Oh God please), here's the order in which Tyra might call out the contestants at the end of the episode.

1. Mall Santas

These Santas are clearly the frontrunners.

The phenomenon of mall Santa is culturally recognized as the epitome of holiday Americana. 

Most of us can probably dig up a photo of us sitting on Santa's lap at our hometown mall, whether as a screaming toddler or a teenager who thought it'd make for a hilarious joke card.

A lot of malls also create a whole Christmas experience around hangin' with the big guy - most notably, Santaland at the 34th street Macy's. Visitors can walk through the elaborate Christmas village, talk to friendly elves, and feel all those magical Christmas feels.

2. Ice Rink Santas

Ice rink Santas are usually pretty legit, which is why they clock in at second place.

They definitely sit a rung below mall Santas, but pairing a photo sesh with Santa and ice-skating (especially when it's at Rockefeller Center) is pretty darn Christmas-y.

Four for you, Glen Cocoa.

3. Photo Studio Santas

Just no. These guys are just plain phony, and a portrait studio is probably the least Christmas-y locale in existence.

4. Gypsy Santas

As if the Times Square Elmo wasn't enough, there is now another beloved children's character scamming tourists for money: Santa.

These guys may collect their fees by charging for photos with "Santa", or veil their ploy through requests for "donations" to various charitable causes.

Either way, they're giving Santa a bad name, and we're not about it.

5. SantaCon Santas

These "Santas" are so low on the totem pole that they probably shouldn't even be included on this list. But, we've got to end somewhere.

Let's be real: spreading holiday cheer is not on the agenda for these Santas. Their priorities mainly revolve around binge drinking and causing as much street congestion as possible.

Sorry, but these guys are no longer in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Santa. 

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