There are certainly perks to being single in New York City. First of all, no one is worrying about your business but yourself. Second of all, you get the stellar freedom of doing things alone whenever you want.
The downside? Well, obviously once it starts getting cold out, you'll want to cuddle with someone. The problem?
You won't want to go out at any cost. It's around this time that having a perpetual cuddle buddy starts to look pretty appealing.
Plus, it seems like the city is struck with dating fever during the holiday season. You have to see cute couples everywhere you go.
There are plenty of times throughout the year in NYC when it's great to be single. The holiday season is not one of those times. Read on to commiserate with the struggles of being single during the holiday season in NYC.
1. Mistletoe
During the holidays, there's all this effing mistletoe. Inevitably, you find yourself underneath it. Alone. Or you find yourself underneath it with someone who "isn't interested in commitment right now."
That's a metaphor, but you know what we mean.
When you find yourself below the kissing herb, you want to kiss someone. You have all these vivid fantasies about how perfect it'd be. Yet, again, you're below the mistletoe without someone to kiss. Or, you've got someone lame to kiss, but you're not down to settle.
2. All the romantic holiday activities
When you're in a relationship, it's super easy to find someone with whom to do every winter activity. Oh, you want to ice skate at the Bryant Park Winter Village? No problem. You'll just bring your beau.
You want to cuddle and marathon all the holiday movies you can think of? Perfect. You'll just invite your significant other over, and the two of you will cuddle all night and watch Love Actually twelve times in a row.
When you have no significant other, though? Well, you could just go ice skating at Bryant Park by yourself, but then you're forced to watch all the other cute couples on dates making out and holding hands.
Or, you marathon Love Actually alone, and start having doubts about whether any of this will ever happen for you. You wind up more depressed than you were when you started.
3. Holiday parties
bumble How it goes when at home with your parents for thanksgiving. #SpoonTheCheddarGoldfish #TheLeftoverSidesWillTendToYourEveryNeed
Everyone throws holiday parties, but no one single ever shows up. It's like there's an unspoken agreement that everyone shows up to a holiday party with a significant other.
So how are you ever supposed to meet anyone? Of course, you have to dodge the same questions every year. Questions like, "So are you seeing anyone yet?" Or, "How's your love life?"
You always wonder if you could respond saying, "Does a very committed relationship with pizza count?" You resist the urge to go off on a rant about how it doesn't look like they're very happy in their relationship, and that you're much happier on your own.
4. One night stands
Of course, just because you're single doesn't mean you don't have a libido and we all know that. So you've got to get it on somehow. This leaves you in the situation of having to scope out bars to find someone. Anyone. Who knows where your standards have gone this holiday season?
Of course, there's also the bummer of not having a toothbrush at this person's place. You can't help imagining that if you were in a committed relationship, you'd have a toothbrush at that person's apartment and you'd be able to walk into the day feeling like a real person.
5. Walks of shame
You're pretty sure this should be referred to as the "walk of glory," but whatever. The point is that when you're dating someone and you sleep at their apartment, it's super easy to just borrow some of their clothes and high tail it out of there with dignity.
When you have a one night stand? Not so much. Turns out people in this city are much more reluctant to part with their clothes when there are doubts they'll ever see the person taking their clothes again.
Flash forward to you, on the subway, wearing your leather dress and stilettos from the night before. You could always take an Uber, but then you're left at the mercy of a judgy Uber driver. So there's that.
,6. The city is swarming with couples
Walk-of-shaming home, still wearing your bar clothes from the night before, is just so much worse when you pass an adorable, nauseating couple holding hands and gazing at the twinkling lights on Park Avenue.
You dig what we're saying?
When you've got nothing but your book for company, and the rest of your friends are comfortably holed away in committed relationships, it's that much more affronting to see a cute couple holding hands or making out on the subway.
Yet, it seems that this time of year, the city is swarming with them. Bah, humbug.
7. Running into your ex
summerlovingg89 #runningintoyourex and saying whatever comes out of your mouth bc you're filling in #thatawkwardsilence hahaa also, why #ilovenewgirl #newgirl #zooeydeschanel
Wouldn't it be cool to run into your ex with a hot new significant other's arm slung around your shoulder?
Yeah, in an ideal world, that's when you'd run into your ex.
Instead, you run into your ex on the street at Saint Mark's Place, you've got dollar slice grease dripping down your arm, and you're wearing sweatpants.
Of course, your ex looks hot, and of course they're with that new person they're dating. You were pretty sure you were hotter, but you definitely don't look hotter with pizza grease dripping off your chin. Bummer.
8. Dealing with your roommates' relationships
You can't even escape the city's romantic fever in your own apartment. You have to come home to your roommate's lit candles and cookie baking date.
You don't want to be the grinchy roommate that holes up in your room to escape all the cute cuddling happening on the couch, but that's exactly what you'll become.
It's even more salt in the wound when you can hear your roommate getting it on through the wall. You really never wanted to hear your roommate this way. You start wondering if you're going to be single forever.
9. New Year's
Of course, everyone goes out on New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve comes with all these built-in expectations; one of which is that you'll share a romantic kiss with someone to start the year right.
What actually winds up happening on New Year's?
Well, either you make out with a stranger in a bar, or you wind up making out with one of your friends with whom you definitely should have remained platonic. Then, it's never the same between you again.
You'll probably wind up having really awkward sex with that friend that night because you both wanted to escape the despair of being alone. Sometimes, the pressure on New Year's is just too much to take.
Check out When We First Discovered There's No Such Thing as Santa Claus.
[Feature Image Courtesy Queen's Journal]