SantaCon is rapidly approaching, so we thought we'd hit you with a nice little guide, something to let you know we care whether you wind up in a pile of puke on your friend's bathroom.
What we're saying is, we really want you to get wild for SantaCon. We want you to have a blast. We'd be stoked if you had the best day you've ever had. Responsibly, that is.
For that to happen, though, you've got to follow some tips.
Below, we've compiled the perfect guide for you to have the perfect day. Get ready to sip, smile, and frolic all over the city dressed just like-- you guessed it-- Santa.
As Santa, though, you've got a responsibility. You've got to spread Christmas cheer. SantaCon's organizers ask every participant to donate $10 to charity, and to basically keep it together while having a blast.
Do you want to do just that? We thought you might. Read on to find out how to have a very excellent SantaCon 2015.
1. Eat breakfast
You're going to be drinking all day, and not eating breakfast is a grave mistake. So throw a SantaCon party at your apartment.
Buy donuts, buy bagels, whip up some pancakes; we really don't care what you have, but eating a quick granola bar on the way to the bar won't cut it.
Promise us you'll eat a hearty breakfast so you make it through the day in one piece?
2. Drink before you go
The lines at the bars are going to be insane. You're going to need patience and perseverance to get a beer at whatever bar you show up in first.
We also know that you'll probably end up waiting in line outside whatever bar you start at. So, having a buzz before you're out in the daylight is the move.
It may also be the move to sneak sips from some nips while you're waiting in line, but this is, strictly speaking illegal, so be careful about it.
3. Get there early
We don't know what bars will take part in this year's SantaCon yet. We know the route will be posted here on the night of December 11th, but until that happens, we're not sure what will go down.
We do know what went down last year: there were 32 participating bars, and they were all packed by 12 p.m.
So we're trying to keep you from arriving in midtown at 1 p.m. and finding that every participating bar has hour-long lines. Or half hour-long lines, which are just as bad, because they're both huge buzz kills.
To have a shot of getting into the participating bars without a line, get there right when they open.
4. Study the subway
If you're coming from out of town to participate in SantaCon-- and we're well aware that many of you are --make sure you know where you're going before you get here.
Most people in NYC who don't participate in SantaCon have extremely deep, intense feelings of resentment for SantaCon.
Basically, if someone isn't wearing a red hat, don't ask them for directions.
Ask someone who is wearing a red hat for directions, or better yet, just figure out where you're going ahead of time. Also, buying your train tickets ahead of time will be very helpful when it comes to waiting in lines.
5. Follow Santa's Code
The SantaCon people have posted a code with which all SantaCon revelers will hopefully abide. It asks all the crazy SantaCon partiers to spread joy, not vomit or trash.
It also asks participants not to litter, fight, pee on the streets, or climb on cars. It also asks participants not to pick fights with the NYPD.
Do the contents of this code give you some idea about how crazy SantaCon can get? Good, it should.
,6. Dress warm
It's tempting to wear a tiny elf skirt or, like, Santa shorts, but we already told you you'll probably spend a lot of time waiting outside to get into bars, and walking between bars.
All we're saying is, the fuzzy Santa hat on your head won't protect you. Just because we had a really warm November doesn't mean it's not going to be nippy on the fateful day of December 12th.
Given the choice between carrying a coat and being cold the day of SantaCon, we would absolutely advise you to bring you coat.
7. Wear comfortable shoes
Like we said, there's a lot of walking happening during the phenomenon called SantaCon. If you wear a three-foot high pair of heels or those new loafers you haven't broken in yet, you're going to get blisters.
There are only two types of people who participate in SantaCon: those who wear their cool looking, yet comfortable shoes, and those who end up barefoot with glass in their feet by the end of the night. We want you to be the first kind.
8. Check your phone
cin_diva SantaCon yesterday in Times Square! 🎅 #hohoho #santa #santaseverywhere #santacon #nycsantacon #santaconnyc #santacon2014 #timessquare #nyc
It's not really necessary to follow the precise Santa route, but if you are going to, then follow @santacon_nyc on Twitter. They'll put out a tweet when it's time to switch bars.
9. Wear a costume
chery__l #elfs #santacon2014 #santaconnyc #santacon #santasareeverywhere #nycsantacon #nyc #newyorkcity #newyork #nycphotography #newyorkphotos #manhattan #instaphoto #instagramnyc #instanyc #christmasiscoming
We're telling you, if you don't dress up, you're going to be the only one not in costume. You're going to open the door of the bar, and be met with a sea of every other single person the bar in costume.
So wear a costume, and buy it early. Buy it today. If you try to buy your costume the day of SantaCon, you'll probably be out of luck. Thousands of people participate in this wild bar crawl every year, so lots of bars sell out.
10. Don't drink more than you can take
c0valtine Santacon shenanigans. 🎅🍻 #santacon #NYC #NYCsantacon #latergram #AngryBalls #AsleepByNine #AllClass
We're sorry for sounding so scolding in this point, but it's important to mention. We've seen plenty of people passed out at bars and throwing up on the street during SantaCon.
If you feel like you should stop drinking, that probably means you should. Alright?
Check out 6 Holiday-Themed Bars to Get Your Drink On This Month in NYC.
[Feature Image Courtesy BuzzFeed]