Did you know Thanksgiving is next week? If you didn't, well, we have no idea where you've been. Odds are you knew. Odds are the turkey insignias plastered throughout the city gave it away.
Usually around this time of year, we all start to weigh the merits of Friendsgiving against the traditional family Thanksgiving; an extravagant meal with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.
Don't get us wrong: We know how fortunate we are to have our families duringThanksgiving.
Sometimes, though, Friendsgiving seems like a much better idea. At Friendsgiving there's the benefit of getting super twisted, whereas at your family party, you're judged severely for doing so.
At Friendsgiving you get outside and play football. At your family party you might, but usually, you're stuck answering a bunch of awkward questions.
Read on to see why Friendsgiving just might be preferable to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner.
1. Football
eilis_s_ #fbf to that time I played flag football #smithfamilytradition #thanksgivingfootball #imnotverygood #familyfirst 💕🍻🏉
Is there anything like meeting up with a group of pals for something besides drinking?
We've got to say, there's really nothing like it. When we gather with our drinking buddies in a park to play football, we have to spend a couple minutes marveling at everyone's athletic gear before we can play.
Inevitably, there's one guy who shows up wearing pressed skinny jeans and loafers. Like, did he not have any sneakers? Inevitably, chaos ensues when the guy wearing loafers gets picked over a very athletic girl. Like, isn't sexism supposed to be over?
Skip the chaos by not having a pre-game draft. Or, just pass the ball to the girls. Novel idea, we're sure.
Still, running around a park making the most of the fresh autumn air before winter hits is a total blast, and definitely better than all the stilted conversation at your family party.
2. Family drama
ericathegeek I can't sleep and it's 4:30 am so everything is hilarious. I'm delusional apparently! #stepbrothers
At Friendsgiving, you get to skip all the family drama. There's no longstanding quarrel about someone's auto bill or the fact that your cousin went to her husband's family to Thanksgiving this year.
At family Thanksgiving, there are questions like, "Do you have a boyfriend yet? Are you going to get as drunk as last year? When will you give me grandchildren?" Or, the worst question of all: "Why do you never call?"
At Friendsgiving, you don't have to deal with these questions. You also don't have to deal with your grandfather throwing a fit because your uncle carved the turkey wrong. If you do, you're doing Friendsgiving wrong.
3. Drinking
Okay, let us be clear. We're not ridiculous enough to suggest that drinking doesn't occur at family parties. We are pros at getting too drunk at family parties.
Here's the thing, though: drinking at family parties has to be stealthy. It has to be moderated. You can't sit in your kitchen and throw back shots of tequila with your grandmother. If you can, we envy you.
Sometimes, we get so drunk at family parties that we pass out on the couch with a blanket over our heads before dinner even starts. Sometimes, we get some guff about this one particular incident for years and years afterwards.
At Friendsgiving, drinking is central to the fun. You don't have to sneak vodka into your cranberry sauce when your aunt looks away. You can play drinking games. You can take beer bongs. You can take collective group shots with preceding Thanksgiving toasts.
Do we really need to explain why the freedom of possibly blacking out is preferable to being judged for every beer?
4. Political discussions
Forgive us for generalizing a tiny bit here, but we tend to find that our political beliefs align much more seamlessly with our peers' than with our older relatives.
What we're alluding to is that when we have to listen to our older, conservative relatives wax poetic about how we shouldn't accept refugees and how gay marriage shouldn't be legal, we sort of want to jump out a window.
Sure, we know all about how talking to someone who disagrees with you is a great way to reinforce your own beliefs, but when all your grandfather wants to talk about is how Obama is ruining America... well, you get it. The point is, we'd rather chat with our friends who are as stoked on Obama as we are.
,5. Greetings
No one expects you to kiss your friends on the cheek. When you walk into a Friendsgiving party, you get to say a very chill hello to everyone.
You might dole out a hug or a high-five every now and again, but these are purely voluntary (which are the best sorts of hugs and high-fives anyways).
At family parties, you've got to scour the room and you've got to kiss everyone on the cheek. There are some relatives whose cheeks you'd really rather keep your lips away from.
When it comes to greeting your family, your personal space is a moot point. You've got to swallow your pride and kiss them anyway (which is just another reason Friendsgiving might be just a teeny bit preferable to family Thanksgiving).
6. Hooking up
There's no shot of hooking up with anyone at your family Thanksgiving party. There just isn't. The percentage of people who have hooked up after a family Thanksgiving party who weren't already married or dating has got to be 3% or fewer.
At your Friendsgiving party, though, there might just be someone there you can flirt with. Your crush might've even come.
If your crush wasn't at your Friendsgiving party, you can hit the bar and turn your charm on. Maybe you can even bring someone cute home.
After your family Thanksgiving party though? Well, after that debacle you're going to sleep full, alone, and depressed because you got in a fight with your grandmother's boyfriend. Do we have to say which ending to your evening is more desirable?
7. Small talk
You know that old adage, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family? It actually goes something like, you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose, but hey, you're so stressed out about your family, you just forgot.
Either way, that's the case here, for sure.
You've chosen your friends presumably because you have things in common, so you'll have things to chat with them about. You might chat with them about your latest romantic exploits, your triumphs at work, maybe your obsession with Amy Schumer.
At your family party, you're clutching for straws. You're not even sure what your weird uncle actually does for a living, so you can't think of anything to ask him without betraying your lack of prior knowledge.
So, you wind up chatting about the weather. Or movies. Or, whether you "like living in NYC." What a yawn.
Check out 11 Most Annoying Questions You'll Definitely Hear at Thanksgiving Dinner.
[Feature Image Courtesy JessicaWeiser.com]