We're New Yorkers. We pride ourselves on this rough, callous exterior affirming to ourselves and our out-of-town friends that, "Yeah, we've seen it all." And we have. 

We've seen a rat carry a slice of pizza down the stairs, and a man tattoo a tribute to it on his leg. In the ultimate Orwellian/Pokémon crisis, we've seen a pigeon and a rat fight to the death. We've seen a pigeon utilize a bagel as a highly classy, edible accessory. Milkshake squirrel. Pizza Raccoon. 

We've seen it all. 

So it's no wonder that by the end of it all, we go from capturing insanity in the seemingly mundane to coaxing the spectacular out of the highly unoriginal. 

Yep. Donut Rat has brought us to our knees. 

Incredible? Absolutely, but this video isn't anything spectacular. In fact, the very ease with which the rat carries the doughnut is evidence enough that even the vermin know what's wrong with us. 

They probably know they've got a better chance of getting fed than any homeless or street performer has of getting a dime. We've hit a new low as a species. We're giving away doughnuts. To rats. 

So check out the motor on this little dude. Pay careful attention to the dexterity of his claws and teeth. Their sharpening their claws, senses, and slowly earning our trust. This is only helping them in a future battle of the species. We're entering dangerous territory.  

We've readily ignored the essential lesson from reading If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but maybe that's because we haven't given them cookies... yet. But we're on a slippery slope. 

It's only a matter of time until we're giving them Metro cards, small tools, and eye glasses to read the paper with. All of that would be super cute, right?! Wrong. None of that is cute. Have you heard of a Rat King? Mythical? Possibly, until you get a rat nest runnin' on Dunkin'. Stop feeding the animals. 

Check out This Woman’s Rendition of Beyonce’s ‘Halo’ on a NYC Subway Platform.

[via Gothamist]