Oh Chi-town, the windy city, home to Kanye West and the Bulls. You knew we'd come for you at some point, didn't you?
We've been facing off against other metropolitan powerhouses without fear, so you must've known in due time we'd take you on. We've already battled Boston, Philadelphia, and even Paris.
Since Chicago's the third biggest city in the United States and the most visited in the midwest, it's caught our attention on more than one occasion.
Here's the thing. Chicago's got a lot going for it. We haven't forgotten their Michael Jordan stardom, nor are we over their constant quips that "their pizza is better than ours."
Does our taking you on have anything to do with the forthcoming playoff series between the Mets and the Cubs? You bet it does.
So bring it Chicago. You think you can take us in baseball? Down 2-0, really? We're taking you on in 8 other categories.
Read on to find out what happens when Chicago takes on New York City.
1. Pizza
freak_pizza #Repost @thepizzamonster1 with @repostapp. ・・・ Who has the Monday Munchies for @lombardispizza in Nolita? 🍕💕 I loved this margherita pizza with sausage 😍🙌🏻 #nycpizza #pizzaterian #pizzagang
The rumors are all true and we cannot lie. TripAdvisor did, in fact, rate Chicago the number one pizza city in the United States for 2015.
But uh, is deep-dish pizza real pizza? No. Real pizza is the pizza you can actually fold and eat with your hands, not something you need extensive cutlery for.
This, coupled with the fact that we've got the first pizzeria in America (that's right, Lombardi's 1905 licensing marked it as America's first pizzeria) made it clear that we should go ahead and give ourselves the victory on this one.
It's not like you're not a worthy contender, Chicago. People, for some reason, do like your pizza. You did invent the world's first deep-dish pizza, after all. If we were in your city, we would eat your pizza once or twice, but our pizza is better.
NYC: 1, Chicago: 0
2. Cost of living
Sigh. It was obvious New York would lose this one, wasn't it?
Zumper's 2015 National Rent Report ranked us in, once again, as the second most expensive city in the country, falling behind San Francisco.
In October of 2015, average rental price for a one-bedroom in NYC cost $3,230 while one-bedrooms in Chicago cost, on average, $1,980.
Expatisan's Cost of Living Index stated that it's 21% more expensive to live in NYC than Chicago. Food is 15% more expensive in NYC, housing is 53% more expensive, and transportation is 7% more expensive in NYC.
At least entertainment is 5% less expensive in NYC than Chicago, and clothes are 1% less expensive in NYC? Does this make us want to pack up and move to Chicago? To be honest, sort of. We don't think we'd be all about that wind though.
NYC: 1, Chicago: 1
3. Inventions
mattmaccarone85 Flying high, touch the sky Going to places I never knew So goodbye And hello, long ago Goodbye Chicago, listening to Goodbye, by Chicago. #3RUN2 #RunThisTown #ChicagoSkyline #NikePlus
A lot of things were invented in Chicago!
The Home Insurance Building, built in Chicago in 1885, is considered the world's first skyscraper. The first ever franchised McDonald's was opened in Des Plaines, Illinois in 1955. Chicago's also got credits on the world's first ferris wheel and the first deep dish pizza.
Ives W. McGaffey invented the vacuum cleaner in Chicago in 1869, and the first electric dishwasher was invented by Josephine Garis in 1893.
Chicago's also got claim to the first zipper, and the first open heart surgery.
While Joseph Gayetty invented toilet paper in NYC in 1857, LaMarcus Adna Thompson invented the roller coaster in NYC in 1884, and the concept of the teddy bear was created in NYC in 1902 by Morris Michtom, we've unfortunately got to give it up to Chicago on this one.
We'd definitely rather have toilet paper than deep dish pizza, but we pretty much want open heart surgery more than any of these inventions.
NYC: 1, Chicago: 2
[via Via Wolfstad]
4. Movies and TV shows
andyvass1991 My spirit animals! 👏🏻 if you aren't watching this show, you are doing yourself a great injustice. #BroadCity #BestShowEver #monday #mood #yaskween
I-Robot was filmed in Chicago, and Gotham City from Batman Begins was largely based on Chicago.
The Good Wife is set in Chicago, as are movies like Bridesmaids, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and plenty more.
However, as we checked out Film L.A.'s 2014 Feature Film Study and found New York second on the list of cities where most movies in feature films were produced, we're going to have to award ourselves the point in this category.
We've got SNL, Broad City, Law and Order, You've Got Mail, and so many more movies and TV shows that it's silly that we're even thinking of listing them. They don't call us the cultural capital of the world for nothing.
NYC: 2, Chicago: 2
,5. Public Transportation
li_spidey I spent a lot of time upside down at @newyorkcomiccon haha 👍🏻 📷: @jasonlaboyphotography #nycc #nycc2015 #subway #nycsubway #metro #symbiote #comiccon
Aw, that's cute! Chicago thought they could compete with our public transportation?
Well, this one isn't really a contest.
According to Fivethirtyeight's report, NYC's public transportation had far and away the most riders on public transportation in the United States in 2013, with an average of 229 trips per resident on public transportation throughout the year.
Chicago came in ninth place, with an average of 74 trips per resident. Could you imagine only riding public transportation 74 times in one year? We can't.
Now, naysayers might be griping, "But driving in Chicago is probably easier!" To them we'd say, yes, that's true. Driving in Chicago is undoubtedly easier than driving in NYC. That, however, isn't what we were asking, and being able to drive home is not helpful after a night at the bar.
NYC: 3, Chicago: 2
6. History
jmase_31 Formerly NYPD HQ.. Now, luxury condos #nyc #oldnyc #exploreyourcity #theamericancollective #hiddengems
This category really might not be that fair, because the Chicago fire of 1871 devastated much of what was early Chicago. It destroyed 17,450 buildings, killed 300, and caused $200 million in damage.
It's also worth nothing that Abraham Lincoln was nominated for president in 1860 in Chicago.
Still, as Chicago was founded in 1833 and NYC was founded in 1624, it's clear to see that NYC is simply much older than Chicago.
NYC has the country's oldest hospital, NYC was once the capital of the country, plus, as we said, it's way older.
NYC: 4, Chicago: 2
7. Culture
curlsandsports This is everything! Game 2 of the #NLCS! #MetsVsCubs! Thanks to the bossman @blacksportsonline ! #NYC #itsbrickoutside #MLB #ihopeicatchafoulball #Mets
Chicago was at one point the capital of jazz and blues. It may have been born in New Orleans, but it went up to Chicago pretty quick. New York is the undisputed mother, father, Godfather, Aunt and Uncle of rap and hip-hop.
Last year, Chicago had 46.2 million visitors. They've got the Chicago Theatre, the Cadillac Palace Theatre, and the Bank of America Theatre.
As laughable as the city itself is, Chicago also has a pretty dope comedy scene with the World Famous Laugh Factory, The Comedy Bar, and the Laugh Factory.
Chicago gets mad props for culture, but uh, they don't have Broadway, a $1.36 billion industry, Radio City, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and we have a lot of comedy too, if you haven't heard. There's this thing called SNL, and nothing's ever come close at touching it.
We're going to go ahead and take it away on this one.
NYC: 5, Chicago: 2
8. Sports
You may have seen something about the Mets and the Cubs battling it out on the field. Yeah, we're winning now, and across the board, New York has more championships and more storied franchises than Chicago.
They have the Bulls, we have the Yankees. They have the Blackhawks, we have the Rangers. They have the broken husk of Derrick Rose, we have a forgettable year with Andrea Bargnani.
For every historic accolade in Chicago, there's something of greater or equal value in NYC. Sure, we've never had a Michael Jordan per se, but we've had Jeter, Wayne Gretzky (meh, for a little while at least), Patrick Ewing, John Starks, Joe Namath, Eli Manning (love him or hate him, he's got two rings).
The list goes on and on. New York's been relevant more than Chicago has. Sure, they had the '85 Bears, but we have Madison Square Garden every year until it crumbles. You also still have Jay Cutler who's more likely to throw the Jets or Giants a touchdown pass than he is his own team.
As a city, Chicago has 27 professional championships. That's how many the Yankees have on their own. Anymore questions?
This battle's been summed up and clapped quick.
NYC: 6, Chicago: 2
Check out 8 Secrets Every Real New Yorker Has (But Will Never Admit).
[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]