We can all agree that New York City is awesome. You wanna know what else is awesome?
Animals. Animals are the best.
Animals, in many ways, are arguably better than humans.
Well, not better than humans at using fire, but they’re still awesome nonetheless.
Anyway, we’re coming in hot with the power rankings for all the animals you’ll encounter in NYC.
1. Peregrine falcons
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The fastest bird. That’s pretty much the only evidence we need to give the number one spot to the peregrine falcon.
These Usain Bolts of the sky aren’t super common, but two of them have a nest at 55 Water Street and you can watch them hang out there on the internet.
2. Bats
Echolocation is the coolest thing since sliced bread. To be honest, we never thought sliced bread was that cool. Like, say you’ve got a knife, and you know how to use it. Boom! Bread slicing isn't that big of a deal.
But, the point is that echolocation is sweet, and so are bats, which is why they get the number two spot.
3. Red-tailed hawk
Birds of prey have a natural swagger that is unmatched in the animal kingdom.
No matter how big and bad a predator is, if it can’t fly, then its beat for it.
4. Raccoons
They look like the villains from old cowboy movies, but they generally only rob trash cans instead of stage coaches.
If raccoons were robbing stage coaches they’d be a shoo-in for the number one spot.
,5. Squirrels
Squirrels are pretty terrible animals, especially in NYC. People feed them and leave cups of water for them, so the NYC squirrels have developed laziness as an essential trait for survival.
It's like the opposite of survival of the fittest. This is in stark contrast to the humans of NYC which is why squirrels get the number 5 spot.
6. Cockroaches
We're only counting cockroaches because we’ve seen some in the subway that are so big that they need to be represented on this list.
Anyway, urban legend tells us that cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust which is why they edge out rats and pigeons in the race for worst animal of NYC.
7. Rats
tiny_tails_haaa 🐭Follow me for rat stuff🐭 I'm not afraid to invade my rats' personal space because they constantly invade mine...then chew on it. #cute #RattieSkittle #fancyrat #littlehelper #pet #pets #rat #rats #rattie #ratte #ratcommunity #virginiafancyratowners #virginiabeachfancyratowners #treatietime #treatie #closeup
Rats got a really bad reputation after that whole plague thing went down. The head of PR for the rat community really dropped the ball on that one.
But, rats aren’t that bad. Don’t get us wrong, they still really suck. They’re just not bubonic plague bad.
8. Pigeons
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These are by far the worst animals in NYC and quite possibly the world.
They poop on the statues, cause bird flu (may or may not be scientifically accurate), and have even gone as far as to fly in front of George Costanza’s car, ruining his date.
In Pokémon terms, Pigeons are basically the Magikarps of the animal kingdom except they never evolve into Gyarados. All in all, they're pretty terrible animals.
Check out 5 Reasons LaGuardia Airport is the Absolute Worst Place on the Planet.
[Feature Image Courtesy RT]