The title of this article may seem like a misnomer.
Aren’t New Yorkers some of the most outspoken, precocious, not-afraid-to-say-what’s-on-our minds people in America?
And yet, there are some things we clutch close to our chests, that we wouldn’t admit even if we were tortured.
Okay, maybe we’d admit them if we were tortured.
Read on to find out all the juicy details... 8 secrets every real New Yorker has, but will never admit.
1. You're always late, too
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You know that moment when you rush into a meeting or a social hangout by the skin of your teeth, frazzled and sweating?
And you’re nine minutes late but because of some divine miracle, the person you’re meeting up with isn’t there yet?
Then, when they show up twelve minutes late and say, “I’m so sorry I’m late!” you shrug and say, “Yeah. It’s fine”?
We’re onto you. We know you weren’t early.
2. You don’t really hate Times Square (that much)
It’s a social travesty to enjoy Times Square as a real New Yorker.
Announcing you like Times Square to a crowd of New Yorkers is sure to be met with a chorus of scorn. It’s commercialized, commodified, and a manifestation of the decline of New Yorker as anything special or different from the wasteland of conglomerate suburbia.
And yet, let’s face it. There’s something magical, even mystifying about the bustling crowds and the flashing lights and the condensed atmosphere in Times Square.
Something about Times Square is thrilling, even if you’d never admit it.
3. You’ve tried Chick-fil-A
Or Pizza Hut.
Or you’ve bought a taco from Taco Bell, or wings from Applebee's, or a sandwich from 7-Eleven. Yes, you live in the most ethnically diverse city in America, with the hands-down best pizza on the East Coast.
And yet, still, your hunger got the best of you while you were strolling past Papa John’s. So, you bought a slice.
Their aggressive marketing tactics go the best of you, what can you say? All you know for sure is that none of your friends will ever find out about this.
4. You take touristy pictures, too (sometimes)
Do we gripe and moan when tourists stop us short in our path so they can snap a selfie of themselves posing in front of the Empire State Building?
You can bet dollars to donuts that we do. Do we occasionally do the same thing? Sure, but we’d never admit it.
,5. You’ve taken the wrong train
Though you may roll your eyes and guffaw when your new-to-NYC friends admit their latest subway mishap, the truth is, you’ve been there too.
When you were an infant New Yorker, you too took an uptown train when you meant to go downtown, or took an A train and wound up on the west side when you needed to take a 5 train to get to the east side.
But, you’ll take that secret to the grave. In your friends’ eyes, you’ve always been a subway savant.
6. Your life isn’t 100% glamorous
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Neither is mine. It’s okay.
We may pretend our lives are just like Sex & The City, but they’re just not. Even though we trudge through dog poop, piss, and rats’ dwellings, our Instagrams will tell you a different story.
Our Instagrams will tell the story of us manicured, blow dried, dressed up, and posing in a restaurant.
It will tell you nothing about the ratchet-ass bus ride we took to get to that restaurant, though, where a guy hawked a lugy in our faces and we had to try hard not to puke.
7. Those quintessential NYC things? You can’t afford ‘em
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We might make it seem like our lives are filled completely with rides on the ferry to the Statue of Liberty and Broadway shows, getting whisked down 5th Avenue in cabs and eating at five-star restaurants.
But the more realistic, common image is us eating Taco Bell and riding a packed, smelly subway at midnight.
8. You think people who don’t live in NYC are... sort of kidding
It’s true that New Yorkers experience the same day-to-day monotony as any civilian. We, too, get frustrated by colds, dwindling bank accounts, and bad weather.
But when our throat hurts and we blow our noses, and yet we’re strolling past the glistening World Trade Center stretching triumphantly into the sky, it’s sort of like a give-and-take.
Like, yes, it sucks we have colds but yet, we still live in NYC. So our lives still rock.
Though we might nod and smile when someone tells us they live in Minneapolis, we don’t really understand how other people can watch every show or movie’s characters trekking around NYC and not move here themselves.
Check out 9 Signs You're Definitely Not a Real New Yorker.
[Feature Image Courtesy Empty Cache]