Imagine this: you're on a date with a certain someone who you're pretty iffy about. Of course they're attractive, smart, and funny, but you're not so sure that you jive. The waiter comes to your table and asks you the question you've highly anticipated all friggin night.
"Would you like to see a dessert menu?"
When you're date instantly and vehemently denies, you better dump them like yesterday's trash. Ain't nobody worth bein' with who don't like desserts.
Desserts are the best part of the meal!! It's an intricate balance, a symphony of textures, a surge of flavors, and a scientific triumph.
C'mon, those who do not appreciate dessert do not understand the finer points in life. They can't open their eyes (or mouths) and just live.
We steadfastly deny the saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," even though one of our mother's had those words printed in large letters on the refrigerator all throughout high school (we're lookin' at you, Ma).
Out of our love for the best meal of the day, we've put a list together of our favorite desserts, and where you can get the absolute creme de la creme of each category in New York City.
1. Warm Chocolate Steamed Pudding from the Sea Grill (19 West 49th Street)
Let's just put it this way: We had this dessert as a kid.
Imagine a little girl dressed in her Sunday best on her best behavior at a nice restaurant that her parents dragged her to with the promise that she could watch the skaters during dinner.
Imagine that little girl getting a molten chocolate cake at the Sea Grill for dessert, while the wait staff comment to her parents on her impeccable manners.
Yeah, that little girl was inspired by this here warm chocolate steamed pudding with Valrhona chocolate sauce and pistachio ice cream. She was so inspired she was determined to go to culinary school and become a food writer.
This thing has magical, life-altering properties. We would know. It's by far the best we've ever had.
2. Cheesecake from Eileen's Special Cheesecake (17 Cleveland Place)
Do you remember that Friends episode where Rachel and Chandler steal their neighbor's cheesecake from Mama's Little Bakery? Do you remember the fervor with which they ate that cake directly off of their hallway floor when they dropped it?
Yeah, you can expect the same kind of response once you've tried a cheesecake from Eileen's. For one, she's been making cheesecakes for over 35 years.
She even made cheesecake for the rescue workers after 9/11 in spite of the fact that her kiosk in the outdoor patio between the buildings was destroyed in the attack.
She's been on Bobby Flay's Throwdown and Food Feud with Michael Simon. She's been lauded by pretty much every major food review group in the country.
She's basically the "Queen of Cheesecake." Eileen's is our favorite spot for the best cheesecake in NYC.
3. Cannolis from Madonia Brothers Bakery (2348 Arthur Avenue - the Bronx)
There are a crazy number of bakeries in NYC that sell cannolis. But none can compare to the cannolis from Madonia Brothers Bakery in the Bronx.
First off, if you've been going to Little Italy expecting the best, most authentic Italian, you need to check yourself. Discover Arthur Avenue and learn what real Italian food tastes like.
Once you've educated yourself, head to Madonia and get a box of cannolis. They'll pretty much convert any non-dessert lover into a full-fledge-sweet-fiend.
Madonia has been bakin' up goodies in the Bronx since 1918... as in the year before Babe Ruth was traded to the Yanks from the Red Sox. They're pre-Babe Ruth.
If you've had one of their cannolis, you'd understand how a tiny little bakery in the Bronx is still chuckin' out crispy, fluffy cannolis to this day.
4. Chocolate Souffle from Le Cirque (1 Beacon Court)
If you've never had a souffle, you're missing out.
These babies are fluffy and warm and delicious in every way possible. They're also incredibly temperamental to make and need to be eaten immediately after being taken out of the oven or they will fall, meaning the top will collapse upon itself.
They're pretty rare on dessert menu nowadays due to their difficult nature. But when done by Le Cirque, they're done in the best way possible.
This baby is served with creme chantilly (sweetened whipped cream) and vanilla ice cream, but don't be fooled: it's anything but ordinary.
When you scoop out some of that warm, chocolate fluffy dessert, you'll be shocked at the gooey, sponge-like texture and deep chocolate flavor. Accented by the vanilla ice cream, we're in love.
5. Carrot Cake from Lloyd's Carrot Cake (various NYC locations)
Of course, we had to give it to Lloyd's for our favorite carrot cake in NYC. If you've never had the pleasure of trying some truly amazing carrot cake, head to his flagship location in the Bronx.
The secret to why it tastes like a homemade goodie that your mama used to make? Lloyd's mother gave him this recipe, and then he tinkered with it in his Harlem apartment until he had the recipe that we know and love today.
The cake itself is incredible, but the cream cheese frosting takes it to a whole other level.
This little shop is a true NYC neighborhood gem.
,6. Brownie Sundaes (99 Problems) from Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain (513 Henry Street-Brooklyn)
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably had a brownie sundae in your life. But if you want an out of this world amazing brownie sundae, you need to get over to Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain and order their "99 Problems" sundae.
A warm brownie with two scoops of chocolate ice cream, doused with a vanilla milk shake, topped with a dark chocolate shell, whipped cream shaved chocolate, and a maraschino cherry.
Seriously, this brownie sundae has a vanilla milkshake drizzled over the top of a brownie and two scoops of chocolate ice cream. Friggin' awesome.
The only problem you'll have after eating one of these brownie sundaes is the fact that you'll be too stuffed to eat another one.
But that's okay. Because you can always go back for another one when you're in the mood...which means the next day.
7. Bread Pudding from La Boite en Bois (75 West 68th Street)
We're huge fans of bread pudding. It may be because it's just a better version of french toast that we can eat for dessert.
When you taste the "Warm Apple Raisin Bread Pudding with Vanilla Bourbon Sauce" from La Boite en Bois, you'll definitely be a bread pudding convert.
It's simple and delicious. With the kick of a spiked bourbon vanilla sauce, it's pretty much the best traditional bread pudding we can ask for.
8. Macarons from Ladurée (various NYC locations)
Now don't jump down our throats, New Yorkers. There's a reason why Ladurée is pretty much synonymous with macarons.
Macarons are french. The best macarons we've ever had have either come from here or been made by chefs who have been trained by French pastry chefs in France. There's a reason why all other macarons fall flat.
If you want the very best, fluffiest, most deliciously filled macarons you can find in NYC, head to Ladurée. Apart from being mouthwateringly delicious, they are spectacularly beautiful.
They are truly the standard that we hold all other macarons to.
9. Red Velvet Cake from Two Little Red Hens Bakery (1652 2nd Avenue)
stephanieteigs Red velvet cake from Two Little Red Hens bakery...my favorite cake from my favorite bakery in the world!! Reminds me of living in our old Upper East Side apartment.. 🐓🐓🍰
People go NUTS over some red velvet cake. The vibrant red butter cake topped with a sweetened cream cheese frosting makes a winning combination.
Two Little Red Hens makes amazing "Red Velvet Cake." If you're in the mood for some amazingly moist cake with a homestyle frosting, this cake shop makes it better than your mama does. Just don't tell your mama.
To be honest, Two Little Red Hens just makes spectacular cake, whether it be their "Red Velvet" or their "Brooklyn Blackout," or their seasonal "Pumpkin Harvest." It's all pretty much the best cake you could ask for.
Check out 6 Amazing Boozy Bakery & Dessert Spots in NYC.
[Feature Image Courtesy Want Dessert]