We're sure there are some of you out there that are Halloween haters.
For you lame people who like to rain on everyone's costume parade, read this article. If you're one of the fun loving people who think candy and costumes and fun is the winning combination for a great time, continue reading my friends.
Halloween is totally the best holiday of the year. When else can you hang spiderwebs from every corner of your house, hang spiders from the ceiling, use a smoke machine and strobe machine for ultimate shrieks, use boobie traps for things that fall on unwitting guests to ultimately make them pee their pants?
Usually, most of those things could get you arrested. But not on this day. Oh no, this day is a day for scaring the sh*t out of people. And it's friggin' awesome.
If you're anything like me, you stock up on the best candies, set up a coffin outside your door, and wait for visitors. I don't mean scare the little kiddies dressed up as pumpkins and ghosts who are so totally cute you just can't even. That's wrong. Don't do that.
Scare those idiot teenagers who really shouldn't be showing up in a black shirt and a mask just to grab a free candy. Because seriously, dude, you're not foolin' anyone, and deserve humiliation when you knock on my door a third time in one night.
Here's why Halloween is the absolute best night of the year.
1. The costume
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On what other night of the year is it socially acceptable to wear a pair of footie pajamas with a hood and tail and pretend you're a monkey???
After college, you no longer have frat parties and socials where you can tap into your creative potential and create the craziest costume you can think of. You want to be a fairy? Strap on those wings, you mythical pixie. Wanna save Gotham? Be the hero that we deserve.
[anad]
Now when I say costume, I mean have some decency. Don't do anything that would seriously upset someone just for the sake of being a douche on Halloween. No one wants to see another idiot stirring up controversy while he's getting drunk. He gives Halloween a bad name.
2. The decorations
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If you're anything like me, you spent hours decorating your yards as a kid. You went outside armed with fishing wire, fake spiderwebs, and a staple gun in order to hang up the cheapest fake skeletons and witches until your house looks like something the kids should be afraid of. And you loved every. single. minute.
Apart from the outside, you probably bring out your pumpkin and apple scented candles and have even tried that cinnamon stick/orange peel/clove/boiling water trick to make your entire house/apartment smell like fall in the best way possible. That way, all of your pumpkin candle holders, glittery skeleton heads, and ghost signs don't look out of place.
If you're a lover of this spectacular holiday, you probably dread November 1, like me, because you have to take down all of your gory decorations. Otherwise, the neighbors will question your sanity...I may or may not be talking from experience there.
3. Pumpkin carving
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Love Halloween? Of course you do, because Halloween is awesome.
You probably love spending an afternoon in a pumpkin patch trying to pick out the best one to be your blank canvas.
The only part of Halloween that legitimately sucks is digging out the seeds and pulp so you don't light your apartment building on fire when you light that baby up with a candle for all to see.
Once you've got your seeds toastin' away with some salt, you can get on with your bad self and create the most insane jack-o-lantern this world has ever seen. If you're anything like me, you're delicately carving at the surface of the pumpkin with focus and determination.
... Haha just kidding, I'm stabbing at that thing like the dude from Scream. But still, be proud of your semi-bucktoothed jack-o-lantern. Stick in a battery powered tea-light and display that baby on your porch for all the admiration it deserves.
4. ABC Family's 13 Nights of Halloween
Harry Potter marathon. That's all I need to hear to get myself to the nearest couch and gorge myself on pumpkin seeds.
ABC Family ALWAYS has a HP marathon on their docket for the month of October. Along with Casper, The Addams Family, Sleepy Hallow, The Night Before Christmas, Hocus Pocus... DO WE EVEN NEED TO GO ON?!?
[anad2]
Halloween movies are awesome. I'm not talking the scare the crap out of you, make you an insomniac kind of movies... I saw The Ring 2... I don't need to revisit that unresolved fear... I mean the fun loving, happy haunts. And the boy who lived is definitely a part of that list.
Plus, who doesn't love a little ghost who merely loves his Duke Snider signed baseball and wants the chance to live again? Soooo much better than that creepy chick from The Ring.
,5. The food
13nightsofhalloween How many pieces of #CandyCorn do you think are in this cauldron?! #13NightsOfHalloween
Don't be that creepy old kid that's way too old to be trick or treating lookin' for candy hand outs that you can buy for yourself on November 1 when all the Halloween candy goes on sale (not saying I have any experience with that).
We're talking about pies, candy apples, s'mores over a campfire, and aforementioned toasted pumpkin seeds. The food is kick ass.
[anad]
Wanna play with your food? Go right ahead!
Now's the time go get yourself to pretty much any supermarket and grab some candy, cake mix, icing, and a pumpkin shaped pan. If you can't create yourself a jack-o-lantern because of a strict landlord, you can at least create a jack-o-lantern cake.
6. Hayrides
There are so many ways fall just screams hayrides.
If you haven't noticed (because we live in a concrete jungle) the leaves on the trees of our parks are turning into the perfect collage of oranges, vibrant reds, and bright yellows. It's the perfect time to get yourself on a hayride and take in the fall weather, take in the foliage, and sip some hot cider.
Extra points if the hayride is the transportation to a pumpkin patch or apple picking orchard. Because that's pretty much quintessential Halloween.
7. The booze and parties
You thought that this list was going to be all family fun friendly reasons why Halloween is the best? You obviously haven't read this site enough.
If you've got kids, it's time to call up Grammy and get a babysitter for that weekend. You know you and you're significant other are planning to dress up like a hooker and a pimp for your BFF's party without baby Johnny learning the facts of life before he can walk.
But that's okay, because on Halloween you can be whoever you wanna be. Get down with your bad self if that's what you're feelin'.
Or just be a Ninja Turtle. There's never a good reason NOT to be a Ninja Turtle.
[anad2]
At these parties, you can expect killer decorations, lots of Monster Mashin', and overflowing pumpkin beer or spiced cocktails. It's pretty much the adult version of a frat party.
What about me? I'll be the girl in the monkey footsie pajamas roastin' s'mores over the fire-pit drinkin' some hard ciders. And you know what? It will be socially acceptable. So go grab that witch hat and cape and come join me.
Because those who love Halloween love a good time.
Check out 10 Sick Ways to Celebrate Halloween in NYC.
[Feature Image Courtesy Expat US]