You've probably heard this before, but dating is not unlike a job interview.
Well, dating in NYC is like interviewing for an executive position complete with a corner office and a fat paycheck, as it's far more advanced.
And not to name names, but to name demographics, especially for the ladies. To keep it in job terms, it's a simple case of supply and demand: there are far less slots (read: guys) than applicants (read: gals).
So, naturally, once you score the interview you want to be prepared; put your best foot forward, after all, you are perfect for the job.
Still, there are a few things that can really make your resume stand out when it comes making hearts shoot out of a dudes' eyes, like those cartoon characters on Looney Tunes.
But how do you stay on top of all this stuff... especially when you may or may not care about a lot of it? Well, luckily, we're going to tell you 1. What these topics are, 2. An example of what to say, and 3. Where to source it for future use.
We're not saying don't be yourself, but we are saying Pat Benatar was right: Love is a Battlefield.
1. Spit out some killer sports stats
Now before you get all huffy, we're not saying girls never know about sports. (Writer's note: I'm a girl who knows about sports, so there.) Plus, even BuzzFeed has recently debunked that theory with a hilariously true video about dudes who feel like outcasts when they don't know about sports.
What we are saying is that if and when you drop a pretty serious (and timely) sports stat on a date, a guy's jaw will likely drop to the floor. And he will probably fall in love with you.
What to say: "If Clayton Kershaw chokes again in the playoffs, I really think the Toronto Blue Jays become baseball's team to beat."
How to know that: The guys behind your favorite food delivery app (Seamless!) have just launched a newsletter for sports novices / people who just don't give a damn about them but need to stay in the game: TipOff.
It tells you just what you need to know in one email [insert "Just The Tips" pun here] complete with a "Watercooler Words" in every edition (see quote above) that you can drop verbatim on this date And you should.
2. Be up to date on world issues (yes, even finance)
New Yorkers are very knowledgable. And it can be virtually impossible to stay on top of everything happening in the world -- the Twitter trending section only holds so much. (Kidding! Sorta...) Having a well-rounded knowledge on world issues isn't just helpful for a date, but for you.
And it definitely assures you won't be taken off guard if the conversation shifts to unfamiliar territory.
What to say: "So you think Bill Gross is going to win this Pimco lawsuit? Not like he actually even needs another $200 million."
How to know that: The Skimm. If you know about this newsletter cheat sheet for world events already, you've got this down. If not, well, it'a a daily email easily breaking down these things -- because who has time to read every CNN article or know what the hell the stock market even is, let alone what it's doing?
3. Have a "Isn't NYC flipping crazy?!' story in your back pocket
Everyone in New York loves to talk about the insane stuff he or she encounters in New York. It's what bonds us together, and it's the perfect go-to on a date because no one who lives here doesn't get it.
What's more, it's borderline like asking him a question about himself, because he undoubtedly has one of these stories.
What to say: "When do you think this whole "Pizza Rat" craze is going to die down?"
How to know that: Live in New York. Easy enough.
,4. Know your s*it about the two B's: Beer and Bourbon
Not to stereotype dudes, but odds are they are fans of both of these libations. And if not, they will still be impressed if you do. Bonus points if you actually order them in lieu of your "vodka soda with just a splash of grapefruit."
What to say: "Hudson Baby Bourbon Whiskey is one of my favorites, and it's the first bourbon to ever be distilled in New York."
How to know that: There's an app for that! Untappd is a beer app that will not only provide you with daily beer recommendations, but will actually tell you where to down it by geo-locating the craft beer bars in the area, meaning you can easily initiate a very calculated post-dinner suggestion to use your newfound knowledge.
And Distiller not only gives you the for lowdown on Bourbon, but it's been deemed "Booze Google," so that basically speaks for itself.
5. Food, food, and more food
There's only one thing New Yorkers love more than sex, and that's food. It's another thing that bonds us together as New Yorkers, given we live in the culinary capital of the world.
Have your go-to spots handy, there's nothing better than knowing where to nab the best burger you've ever had in your life or a bodega that grills up an insane grilled cheese.
Plus, every New Yorker has their spot, and it's always fun (and can be competitive!) to hear about others. It's like the New equivalent of which book best describes you. In other words, some serious stuff.
What to say: "There's a food cart in Flatiron that has maybe the best tacos on the planet. And they're dirt cheap."
How to know that: Um, not to toot your own horn but... But clearly, you read spoiledNYC, so you are already several steps ahead in this game. Here are the ones to drop on your date: best burgers, best pizza... and of course, best cookies because the best desserts are the ones you can hold in one hand.
Check out 6 Essentials You Can Get Delivered to Your Apartment in NYC.
[Feature Image Courtesy Huffington Post]