So, Halloween is just around the corner. Some people love it and some people absolutely detest it.
Some people love getting dressed up and drinking. They love the opportunity to pretend to be someone else. They wait all year to indulge in candy corn and caramel apples. They are stoked to check out all the hot new horror flicks. For some people, Halloween is the best time of year.
However, for others, Halloween is the absolute worst. The costumes, the candy, the bad scary movies; it all sucks. There are folks out there who think Halloween is the dumbest holiday around.
Honestly, President's Day is even better than Halloween. At least you get a day off of work for Presidents Day. Well, some people don’t get off work on Presidents Day, but you know how many people get off from work on Halloween? A big fat goose egg. Absolutely zero.
Plus, you have to dress up like an idiot or be ostracized by society. Anyway, here are 7 reasons why Halloween is the absolute worst holiday ever.
1. The costume
the.hating.potato.uprising This shitty month has finally come around. The month of pumpkin spice bullshit, breast cancer awareness propaganda and the increasingly dull holiday called Halloween. Halloween has lost its magic and appeal over the years. It's just a bunch of girls dressed up like whores, parties, and shitty costumes. Halloween has become as dull and bland as Christmas. (minus the ridiculous Christmas decorations) hearing people say "Halloween iz lyke my favorite holiday!1!1" makes me want to make homemade candy apples, shove razors inside and give them to people. Oh wait! You can't even give homemade treats anymore! Haha. #halloweensucks #ihatehalloween #halloween #october #thepotatoreturns
Coming up with a costume every year is exhausting. Some people, like myself, wear the same stupid costume every year because we hate coming up with these stupid costumes. But, no one respects this move.
People expect originality. People expect topical humor. People want to participate in costume contests where they compete over who pulled off the best stupid idea.
But, you disagree. You think dressing up like an idiot is lame. You’d rather dress up like a civilian from a super hero movie (aka just wearing your normal clothes).
2. Artificial fear
Horror movies are dumb. So totally dumb. I don’t see the appeal.
Well, I actually do see the appeal. It has to do with the dopamine receptors in your brain making you feel good when you are scared. Basically, you’re just tricking your brain into thinking that you are in danger, so your brain releases chemicals that make you feel good.
But, what I don’t understand is why people aren’t actually scared about things in the real world. I mean, terrorism, gun control, Donald Trump running for President and kind of winning; these things are all terrifying and they should be.
You know what isn’t scary? Freddy Krueger infiltrating my dreams. That stuff is impossible. Because no monster can enter your dreams.
3. Getting in trouble
Every year, we hear stories about people getting in trouble for their costumes. After those Chilean miners died, kids dressed up like Chilean miners and got in trouble.
While I was in college, these dudes dressed up like the women’s Olympic gymnastics team. The one dude was supposed to be Gabby Douglas and he wore a black face. This was obviously a stupid idea, but the point is that he got in a ton of trouble.
The thing is, people are so interested in having a good costume that they forget about reality. This is obviously not an excuse for dressing in black face, but the point is that Halloween sucks and it plays a role in people making absurd decisions.
4. Candy
I can eat candy whenever I want. I can go to a bodega and buy candy. I’m an adult. I don’t need a stupid, made-up holiday as an excuse to eat candy.
Also, seasonal candy is nonsense. Why can’t you buy candy corn all year round? What does candy corn have to do with Halloween?
,5. Expectations
_sonia_tremblay Ark. L'halloween c'est effrayant et les gens se font poignarder. #ihatehalloween #yesitsbecauseimscared
Expecting to have fun on Halloween is a disease. It’s almost as bad as expecting to have fun on New Year’s Eve. The hype never lives up to reality.
You end up at some overcrowded party with a bunch of people you don’t know. Your apartment gets trashed, people are puking up chocolate bars and pumpkin beer everywhere.
Every year, you hope that you’re going to run into some girl dressed like the Pink Power Ranger and fulfill some childhood sexual fantasy. But, guess what? You don’t. You just sweat profusely in your overpriced costume and have absolutely zero fun.
6. Repeat costumes
makeupbyangelface27 #whysoserious #joker #jokersunday #jokerface #jokermakeup #jokerart #Halloween #halloweenmakeup #halloweencostume #halloweentime #mehron #graftobian #pravana #facepaint #mua #makeup #makeupartist APPOINTMENTS ARE GOING FAST PLEASE CONTACT ME IF YOU WANT TO RESERVE A TIME SLOT. I WILL BE IN A PICO RIVERA LOCATION. YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE TO COME TO ME SO THAT IM ABLE TO FIT MORE PEOPLE IN.
Every year, there is one costume that a million people wear. When The Dark Knight came out, everyone dressed like the Joker.
This year, I’m calling it now, we’re going to get a million Donald Trumps. You will get fired at least a dozen times at whatever Halloween party you decide to attend.
It’s going to be absolutely miserable.
7. Fake guns
This is the worst part of Halloween. Lots of costumes require fake guns. Cop. Storm Trooper. Ghostbuster. Well, Ghostbuster isn’t really a gun, but you get the idea.
The issue with this is that there is a huge problem in our country with mass murderers.
I just think it is a dangerous move to have a bunch of people rolling around with fake guns when we’ve had so many issues with real guns.
This obviously isn’t going to change, but I just think it’s bound to cause a big problem one year. But hopefully not. Ever.
Check out What to Do in NYC If You Absolutely Hate Halloween.
[Feature Image Courtesy CBS Local]