Dating is not all that it's cracked up to be, now is it?
It starts with whirlwind romance, passionate nights spent together demonstrating your sexual prowess and having earth-shattering orgasms. He took you on dates, bought you drinks, and spent the night with you. He wooed you and stole your heart.
But somewhere down that road, the magic died. The honeymoon phase ended, and you eventually realized that you are dating a f*ckboy.
What's a f*ckboy, you might ask? Well, let's consult the one and only Urban Dictionary: "Someone who screws everyone over, is a liar, a dirtbag, doesn't care about anyone but himself."
Ouch. But oh well, the truth hurts. And so does dating a f*ckboy.
Now that you're in the know, inform yourself more: if you see any of these signs when you're with your SO, he may be probably is a f*ckboy.
1. He makes you pay for dinner
DISCLAIMER: Okay, yes, it is 2015. Ladies are equal to men and should be comfortable putting up cash from time to time. Basically, there should be give and take in the relationship, no?
But with that said, you've noticed lately that he's stopped offering to pick up the bill at dinner.
[anad]
If you offer to pay, he doesn't try to stop you, but if he pays, he'll ask you for your half of the money, or passive-aggressively remind you that since he got dinner this time, you have to pay next time.
And assuming that he is a f*ckboy, it's not like he's buying you decadent lobster dinners or $350 steaks. Seriously, what gives man???
2. He puts his crew before you, but won't let you do the same
He'll make you almost feel like you're on the outside looking in on his torrid love affair with his bros. They'll call him up and he'll bail on you to go to the bars with them where he can pretend he's single and do cool bro things with his cool bros.
You suspect his friends are all douchelords and he's the ringmaster. He might even tell you you're too clingy if you get on his case about blowing your plans off to be with his friends.
On the contrary, if you tell him you're going out with your girls, he'll freak out and even resort to bribing you into staying with him instead. Or he'll ask if he can come with you, even when it's clearly JUGs (just us girls.) Because that's not creepy or anything...right?
3. He has "girl issues"
This guy has been through a lot. Like, he's had a really hard time with all his former girlfriends, and he 100% takes it out on you. When he rehashes his dating past (he totally will), you'll immediately learn that he has a really bad relationship with all of his exes.
Red flag? He's probably the real reason why things went sour every time, tbh.
But still, now he just claims that he has girl problems and that he's been hurt so many times that now he doesn't trust women so he's given up on relation ships.
Brb, time to play the world's smallest violin to the tune of all these sob stories.
4. He doesn't respect women
In addition to all his girl baggage, it just doesn't seem like he respects women all that much. He won't spare you any details with his hookup stories of how he used some girl who was into him for some momentary pleasure. Ewwwwwwww.
First of all, why would he tell you that? Second of all, it makes you wonder what he really says about you behind your back to his crew.
He's also got an extensive vocabulary of choice gross slang words that are better left for conversations with his friends only. Out of sight, out of mind, you know?
5. He claims to be exclusive with you, but he still Tinders
Let's be real here: it was hard enough taming this wild stallion and holding him down long enough for him to be truly yours, am I right? Getting him to commit was like getting him to confess to a capital crime or something, but it was totally worth it because now he's bae.
[anad2]
It's all romance and rainbows until you catch him Tindering next to you in bed when he thinks you're napping. When you confront him, he tells you he just wants to see who's on there and then gets mad at you for accusing him of cheating, even if you haven't jumped to that extreme yet. Cool story, bro.
6. He makes demands of you, but if you do the same, he claims you need to learn boundaries
You better be down to do everything that's important to him because if you don't, you're a selfish bee-otch. He'll basically make ultimatums with you about going to his friend's barbecue when you'd rather be at brunch with YOUR friends.
But as soon as you ask him to come to dinner with your family, he makes an excuse and then later admits that he thinks you're taking this thing to seriously.
And that you're a nice girl and all, but you just really need to have more boundaries because he needs to take things slowly and isn't looking to be tied down or anything.
You get it, right? Mhm, totally.
,7. He takes advantage of your things
He knows that you're a generous, sweet gal, but this just means that he assumes your casa is his casa.
He has no problem coming to your apartment and crashing on your couch for hours, watching your TV, and eating your leftovers.
[anad]
He won't bother cleaning up after himself either, and while he's at it, he'll probably take a shower and use every last drop of your body wash.
Nice going, douche.
8. He'll ask you to leave his place or he won't let you stay over
If you sleep over his apartment now, he'll just expect that you'll be out by a certain time, and if you're not, he'll straight up ask you to leave. Forget spending the day together in your jammies, that's not the life of this guy.
Either that, or he won't let you stay over at all. You'll come over expecting you can drop your toothbrush in his bathroom and leave it there, but that's not in the cards for your night, honey.
He'll do whatever it takes to get rid of you, even if it means paying for your Uber ride home.
9. He'll let you get him off, but he won't do the same for you
When it comes to fooling around, he'll do anything to seduce you and get you in the mood for sexy time.
He'll cajole you, stroke you, and beg you like a puppy looking for table scraps until you give in to desire. Your hopes are high and you're excited to get yourself some too.
But once the loving is done, so is he. He just rolls over and goes to sleep or refuses to even cuddle and keeps his distance on his side of the bed.
In this guy's opinion, it's better to RECEIVE than it is to GIVE. Sounds like someone got it twisted.
10. His friends call him out on his BS
When you actually get to know his boys, you realize that they're not all that bad. What's even better is how you can totally bond with them over how big of a f* ckboy your man is!
[anad2]
When you complain that he's been stingy and flaky lately, they'll just roll their eyes and laugh and say he's always been like this. Guess it's not just you, which is a relief.
11. He breaks up with you multiple times, but always tries to get back together with you
Out of the blue one day he dumps you because he's "just not feelin' it", or he thinks things are getting too serious.
Odds are, you got in one too many a raging fight with this friggin' guy over how ridiculous he is.
But since he's a f*ckboy, he's not letting go too easily. He'll come right back to you and tell you he's sorry about everything and that losing you would be the biggest regret of his life.
Wow, is this The Notebook or something? Super poetic. You'll definitely take him back though, you still find him irresistible. Bu t then he goes and does it all over again! WTF?!
Remember, girlfriend: it won't be over 'til you end it because deep down, this f*ckboy just doesn't want to be alone. But you're stronger than that, so kick that f*ckboy to the curb!
Check out Dudes, Douches & Bros, Oh My! 10 Types of Guys You'll End Up Meeting at a Bar.
[Feature Image Courtesy of Wine and Feminism]