No one in New York City ever has cash. The hilarious thing about it is that it’s a requirement to live here, if you haven’t heard.
Plenty of facets of NYC society are unavailable to the non-cash carrier. Things like street carts, amazing cash-only restaurants, and avoiding credit card minimums are impossible for the bozo with no cash.
How many of you have been in a situation where you were forced to bear a $3 ATM fee because you had no idea the restaurant in which you were enjoying a meal was cash only?
Right, we've all been there.
You are absolutely not alone when it comes to struggling to maintain bills in your wallet, since you can't spend your money and have it too.
Check out these 7 struggles of never carrying cash in NYC, and commiserate with us will you?
1. ATM fees
Whoever came up with the idea of making people pay to get their own money must have been extremely brilliant and extremely evil.
We imagine the meeting went something like, "Heh, heh, heh, let's make them pay money to get their money!" With some extremely evil finger drumming.
Anyway, paying $3 ATM fees sucks. There are plenty of things in this city you could get for $3. You could get three slices of pizza, a taco, maybe even some shampoo. The point is, no one wants to do pay ATM Fees, but we've all been desperate enough to do it in our time.
Of course, a solution is to always ask for cash out at the cashier at the grocery store and the drug store, as this method yields no ATM fees. However, it's wishful thinking to suggest we'd all ever be that responsible and forward thinking.
2. Making the minimum at bodegas
Let us set the scene for you. All you wanted to buy at the bodega was a sandwich. You peruse the refrigerated section, and you've found the turkey sandwich you want. It's got mayonnaise and cheddar cheese and looks overall extremely delicious.
While you're walking to the cash register you think, why not? You throw a bag of chips in, and grab a bottle of water. The cashier announces everything only costs $6, and you're extremely pleased with yourself for saving money.
Then, dun dun dun, he points at the $20 minimum sign plastered to the register. Now you've got to figure out how to spend $14 more. You buy hummus for your co-worker, toothpaste for yourself, and a couple of yogurts for this week's breakfast.
Just because you've been productive doesn't mean you're not annoyed.
3. Making the minimum at bars
You pregamed the bar hard for this moment. You bought Trade Joe's wine for the express of saving dat money. You got to the bar with every intention of saying, "I'd like to close my tab," very firmly once you were asked whether you'd like your tab open or closed.
Then, the door that leads to heavenly money saving is slammed in your face, because this bar has a $30 minimum. Suddenly, you're buying shots for you and all your friends, and beers too, why not? Suddenly you're completely blacking out.
Then you wake up in the morning in a stranger's bed without your credit card in your wallet. When you go back to the bar that afternoon you find out that you spent much more than $30 because of your "I don't care" attitude. You've won again, bar minimums!
4. Cabs with broken credit card machines
If you don't have your checkbook with you, your cab driver probably isn't going to like you very much. Odds are, you don't have your checkbook with you.
How do you pay this guy? You really can't. You feel terrible about it, but there's nothing you can do except writhe in shame and tell the guy he should probably warn everyone getting in his cab that his credit card machine is broken, because no one in NYC ever carries any cash do they?
,5. Splitting checks
Cash only restaurants are a struggle for people who never carry cash. Inevitably, the "responsible" friend ends up having to cover the tab for everyone at the table, which is not fair or nice for the "responsible" friend's wallet.
When the restaurant does accept cards, it becomes difficult to figure out who owes what, and the sensitive situation of whether everyone is cool with just splitting the check evenly or not.
The guy who didn't order a drink on purpose to save money is usually extremely not cool with just splitting the check evenly.
There are even some restaurants who bar tables from passing in more than two credit cards, which is sort of mean of them, though we do understand their time saving impulse.
Thank god for Venmo, right?
6. Not being able to buy food at food carts
The guy at the coffee cart beside your subway station just looks so damn appealing, especially because he'll give you a delicious, steaming cup of coffee for only $1.25.
The dilemma with his enticing offer is that he can only give you coffee if you can give him cash, and there are many days where you have nothing with which to acquire sustenance besides the plastic rectangle in your wallet.
Starbucks, strategically located right beside your subway stop, will take your credit card, but they'll charge you $6 for the same amount of coffee. Starbucks it is!
7. Not being able to tip excellent subway performers
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Let's face it. The reason we all ride the subway is just for the free concerts.
The struggle, though, is what occurs when you encounter a particularly excellent street performer. He's killing it on the guitar, she's rocking the electric key board, her saxophone skills are making you swoon.
You want to drop a tip in the case of this performer, but you can't. You can't because the only money you have to your name is imaginary, signified by your piece of rectangular plastic.
Looks like this street performer won't be falling in love with you back anytime soon.