How do you know you're a true New Yorker?
Well, ask yourself a couple of questions. Have you dealt with a cockroach invasion in your apartment? Have you experienced bedbugs, scabies, or some other termite invasion?
On a less terrible note, have you gotten completely at home in your constant immersion in art, culture, and the splendid buzz of our ever-moving city?
Are you used to the fact that a nice man in a yellow car will whisk you wherever you want to go, and that innovative, gorgeous structures will just continue to spring up? Like, were you unsurprised that there might be a floating garden on the Hudson River next summer?
If you answered in the affirmative to any of the above questions, you're probably an official New Yorker. Read on to find out what else qualifies you as an true New York City inhabitant.
1. You've eaten dollar slices as multiple meals in one day
Let's face it. Most New Yorkers are broke, and dropping only one dollar for a greasy, flavorful slice is just too tempting.
Most of us have snagged dollar slices for breakfast on our way to work, then again at our lunch breaks. Or else we've passed one on our way home from work and just weren't able to resist the temptation.
New Yorkers are drawn toward dollar slices like the moon's drawn toward earth, or like magnets are drawn to each other. Or how incredible, talented people are drawn to NYC.
2. You're annoyed by film crews
If you get excited about film trailers lined up on your block, you're not a real New Yorker. Real New Yorkers are so used to film crews outside our buildings that we're pretty much done with them.
In fact, we're pretty much perfect for movie extras. We won't mug, gawk, or point at the cameras because they're so commonplace.
We've experienced thoughts like, "Why should those film crews get priority on this block? Why shouldn't I get priority instead, since I live here?"
The film crews that used to excite us are now simply another infuriating obstacle between you and your destination. Even if it's your favorite show. But no, that exasperation won't stop you from huddling in front of the TV for the newest episode tonight or sometime later on Netflix.
3. You can't survive without Seamless
andygrammer The summer has felt like this... All of you screaming the words are my bananas. #bestfansintheworld #blessed #summershows
To you, Seamless is synonymous with survival.
You have about six rotating places you order from, and it's extremely rare that you'd introduce a new place into the lineup (and even rarer for you to order something you've never ordered from these restaurants).
For instance, when Seamless was closed due to the snowstorm last winter, you were extremely confused about how you were supposed to get food.
Where Seamless used to symbolize radiant convenience, it's now just necessary.
4. You have "your own" bagel place
futondesk Even a humble bagel w norwegian smoked salmon in a ny market is better than any bagel anywhere else in country #bagellove #whyilovenyc
Until you have a bagel place that you consider your bagel place, you're an NYC outcast. You're not a real New Yorker until you enter into the obsessive bagel craze that plagues the rest of the city.
You know you're a real New Yorker when your eyelids flutter open on a hungover Sunday morning, and instead of chugging buckets of water to hydrate, you automatically pull out your phone and order a bagel from your bagel place on Seamless.
You probably have one bagel you always order from this bagel place, and you order this bagel over and over again. You've switched up this specific bagel order, but not before ordering it 40 to 50 times first.
5. You get annoyed about situations that used to worry you
You knew you were a real New Yorker when you learned that your subway was "delayed because of an accident," and instead of panicking that maybe someone was hurt, you were endlessly frustrated that you'd be late to work.
A woman on the subway was walking around the subway train asking for money while holding a newborn. Instead of obediently dumping $20 from your wallet and spending the rest of your night fretting about whether she was okay, you were pissed that she used her baby to scrape cash.
How about the guy standing in his underwear screaming incomprehensible phrases? Yeah, he was just blocking your path on the sidewalk.
That's how you know you were a real New Yorker.
,6. You're indignant about subway etiquette
When you first moved here, you'd hog poles, wear backpacks, even occasionally put your bag on a seat. If someone was taking up an extra seat by man-spreading, you'd just stand.
If someone was standing on the left on the escalator, you'd just wait behind them.
Now, when people don't stand to the right on escalators you're furious, when they have their bags on the seat you're thrown into a murderous rage, and you just don't put up with man-spreading.
If you're tired, you'll squeeze yourself onto a seat whether there's room for you or not.
7. High prices don't surprise you
believe_in_magic21 #currentmood when your children get up early just to play PS3....on a Monday morning! But heaven forbid they ever get up early to get ready for school...#boys #gamers #annoyed #ps3 #upbeforemyalarmclock
When you're charged $15 for a cocktail or movie ticket, you no longer plunge into an icy panic. You're actually wonderfully placid about sky-high prices now, because you've just accepted the fact that you won't be contributing to your savings account for at least the next decade.
On the flip side, when you hear about a free event, concert, or movie put on by the city, you're so there. How else will you collect the return on your tax dollar investment?
8. You would never go to Times Square for New Year's
In fact, you would never go to Times Square for anything, ever. If by chance you do find yourself passing through Times Square, you're horrified by its assault on your senses.
You know the only way to spend New Year's in NYC is to have a party at your own apartment, or attend a party at your friend's apartment. You've done the thing where you paid $150 for entrance to a club, and you know you'll never do it again.
You know all too well that if you're not attending an apartment party on New Year's, you need to get out of the city.
9. You're unfazed by rats
You see them all the time, so why should they faze you?
It's likely that you've had a more recent encounter with an NYC rat than you have with some of your closest friends who live in the city.
This isn't a hard statement to make, because you probably saw a rat this morning and haven't hung out with some of your closest friends in over a month.
Check out 10 Essential Phrases Every Real New Yorker Should Know & Use.