If you spend enough time marinating in New York City, you can fall out of love with her pretty easily.
NYC can be like that high maintenance significant other that you're stuck with because you signed a lease together.
For every valid reason we have to complain about our lovable mess of a city, there's probably a hundred reasons to build her up, defend her, and relish in her glory.
Just like relationships with people, your relationship with our city must be refreshed every once in a while.
You've got to keep it interesting. Do something spontaneous, maybe something against your best interest.
Say to yourself, "Screw it, I'm going back to that restaurant that I think got me sick. I don't care, I love their food. Plus, I got Pepto and Netflix; it's all good."
So besides putting yourself directly in harm's way, here are 6 ways to fall back in love with this wonderful city. (Come on, just admit it already... we both know she's worth it, amirite?)
1. Stop fixating on what you hate
yogiwanderlust Life is too short for holding grudges, dwelling on the past, and stressing about the future. Take it from Buddha and let that shit go✌🏻️
Many of us get far too hung up on things we can't stand but also can't change.
Stop worrying about them. Take it from 30 Rock, if you can't reach that plastic bag stuck in the tree outside your window ruining your view-- forget about it. Don't stress it because it's not worth your time.
The absurd heating situation in your apartment, the garbage piled up on the streets, the congestion, the tourists, whatever it may be that bothers the hell out of you; just let it be.
NYC is not going to change just for you, no matter how selfish you've become after living here a while.
2. You don't know everything, everyone, or every place
Stop going to the bar downstairs and try something new.
This is New York City and there's constantly fresh, zany activities to be done. The excuse that goes something like, "Yeah I've been to LES before; it's played out," is only valid for a few months at a time.
If you think a neighborhood you were previously in love with has gone stale so you've not been going there-- go there again.
If it's been longer than a month since you checked up on it, chances are there's new stuff there already. And you're not allowed to complain about it "not being the same as it used to be," because that's why you stopped going in the first place.
Better yet, go to a 'hood you've actually never been to. It might be a little uncomfortable not knowing your way around, but it'll probably be worth the subway ride if you pick a sweet spot to explore.
3. Don't go to the landmarks, that won't help.
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If you think revisiting NYC landmarks will rekindle your love for our city, you're probably wrong.
If you're like us, you don't ever, ever need to go back to Times Square. If anything, going to tourist traps like the Statue of Liberty will remind you why you hate children, tourists, immigrants, life, and oxygen.
So just don't go there. Let other people go there. You don't need to go there, you probably already know what it's all about since you get forced into bringing your out-of-town relatives there once a year.
Giving yourself the tourist treatment won't refresh your wonder for NYC, so don't try it. What you may like better is learning more about what you already know. Look into the architectural trends surrounding our skyscrapers.
What makes them fascinating to you besides the fact that they're tall? Dig a little deeper to re-kindle; bottom line is, don't rehash the same experiences expecting a different result.
,4. Absorb some NYC-inspired art, literature, film, or music
Better yet, do two at once; New Yorkers are all about multi-tasking, right? One of the best ways to revive your NYC love is to feel what others felt when they were feeling that good ol' NYC love.
Take Walt Whitman, for example. Yes, Walt Whitman. The poet. He wrote a classic piece of American poetry called Crossing Brooklyn Ferry, and it's basically all about how everyone doing their own thing is part of one grand, stupendous, and beautiful system called life.
Try reading that poem while listening to Biggie instrumentals. Double down, you know? Superimpose your NYC music experience on your NYC literature experience, and see if there's something about that juxtaposition.
And go ahead, watch The Warriors on mute while streaming The Velvet Underground. See what happens. It's like that scene in The Matrix where Neo learns Kung Fu off a floppy disk.
You may be surprised at what you learn and how you feel about it.
5. Leave the city, and then come back
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Just like relationships with people, spending too much time with each other can result in toxicity.
Don't be afraid to not smother each other. NYC can smother you really easily; the trick is to be smothered by the parts of her that you enjoy.
So every now and then, take a break from this city. Go to Connecticut or somewhere upstate.
Do something there you couldn't do here. Go rock climbing on real rocks-- not in a gym on plastic ones.
Better yet, visit cities far away from NYC (if you can afford it). Go to Thailand, and then come back and see what perspective you have on world-class metropolises.
6. Stop listening to everybody; they don't know what you want or need.
NYC is full of people who "know." But what exactly do they know?
We don't know, so we don't listen to them. But there are invariably tons of individuals who fancy themselves NYC experts of this subject or that. Pay them little to no mind.
Reevaluate what excites you, and hunt down the endless opportunities you have to seize that excitement. Do these things with people you love, not just people you know from the bar who are down to party.
Our city is one of the best on the entire planet. If you've really fallen out of love with this place, and you just want a quiet, rural life... that's cool. We understand why.
But you'll know where to find us when you make your way back. Because most always do.
Check out 7 Reasons Why I Don't Regret Leaving Florida for NYC (and Never Will).
[via Moments 2 Memories Tours]