Everyone knows that work is the worst thing since Prohibition. Just ask all the unemployed people. They’ve totally got the right idea.
But, as much as work sucks, being hungover at work makes it a million times worse.
Luckily, we’re grizzled veterans of being hungover at work, and we’re about to drop some knowledge on you about how it goes.
1. Sleep through your alarm
Happy hour last night turned into happy six hours and you got on a non-stop train to black out city. So, this morning you hit snooze somewhere between five and seven times.
The next thing you know, you have fifteen minutes to shower, get dressed, take twice the recommended dose of Advil, and turn your standard 45 minute commute into five minutes.
So, you skip the shower and tie your tie on the train, but you’re still going to be late which is particularly dangerous when you stink of tequila and still have a stamp on your hand.
2. Sneak into your office
The receptionist at the front of your office hates your guts and you know she’ll snitch to your boss the first chance she gets.
You remember in the beginning of The Matrix when Keanu Reeves has to sneak out of his office to avoid the Agents?
Well, this is like that, except you don’t have Morpheus to hook you up with directions.
3. Pretend to do work
Typically, best practices include opening up a previously completed spreadsheet and just typing in random letters.
This works pretty well unless your boss is a close-talker.
Anyway, it’s important to pretend to do work until your boss walks past and sees you locked and loaded in the cube.
4. Take a nap in the bathroom
The handicapped stall is the most comfortable place to sleep in the bathroom.
If you’re too good to nap in the handicapped stall, then you’re too good to be hungover at work.
5. Grub hard at lunch
It’s important to get a lot of grub and water at lunch.
In fact, you should bring a second meal with you back to your cube and a giant bottle of water. Everyone knows it’s the second meal that really takes the edge off.
6. Accomplish one task
Pick the easiest task that you know to do and do it first.
It’s important to get at least one thing done while hungover at work, and who knows? You might even get on a roll and accomplish two tasks.
7. Leave early
We all know that you’re mentally checked out for the day, so if you see an opportunity to sneak past the snitch receptionist, take it.
Head spinning? Check out 7 Incredible Sunday Funday Activities To Get You Motivated in NYC.