Corner stores-- they're not necessarily on the corner.
Delis-- they don't necessarily serve sandwiches.
Downstairs-- as in, "Hey, you want something from downstairs?"-- they go by many names. Though to many, they are simply "bodegas." Say it with us, "bo-de-gas." Yes, very good.
Some think the term "bodega" is strictly reserved for establishments manned by Latin-Americans, and at one time that may have been true. But in New York City in 2015, not much makes sense anymore.
You may find that a convenience store in Chinatown has more qualifying attributes than a tienda in Spanish Harlem.
We've taken the liberty of outlining some of the essential qualifiers of a bodega. If you're in a store and you think it's a bodega, it must meet these requirements below-- or else you're in a damned corner store.
And if you are, get out of there-- and fast-- because you're being way over-charged.
1. Cat
If the store in question does not have a semi-mangey feline prowling the ridiculously small "aisles," then you're not in a proper bodega. You may be in a knockoff bodega.
This is a tricky thing to pull off for the proprietors as it is viscously against NYC Health Code for pets to live in a store that serves food. But real bodegas don't care about that.
[anad]
Real bodegas keep their doors open all the time and you know what, there's a lot of rats in NYC.
Those cats provide a real service to the establishment by eradicating unwanted pests. They're also cute as hell.
2. Dusty products
No matter what, you can't call the place a bodega unless it has at least one item covered in dust. It might be Gravy Master, it might be condensed milk-- it doesn't matter which product it is. What matters is that it's been sitting there for so long that it's collected dust and maybe some pet dander.
It may lead you to wonder, "Why is this can of diced pineapples so filthy? Don't they clean in here?" Let us clue you in. In an ideal bodega environment, everything in the store is sold in less than two weeks. Then, they re-up. This is why every two weeks to a month or so, half of the shelf space is empty.
Whatever products don't sell are not going to get cleaned because nobody ever cleans anything besides the grill and, sometimes, the floor.
3. Items for individual sale that are clearly not intended for individual sale
Actual NYC bodegas thrive on sales of individual sleeves of Oreos, Ritz crackers, and so on.
Chances are you'll also see a big box of Gushers, Little Debbie snacks, and tiny bags of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, etc. with the lid flaps ripped off and a stupidly high price marked in Sharpie on every side of the box.
Don't be fooled. Sometimes for the price of two sleeves of Ritz, you could buy a box of five...
4. Incoherent/misspelled signage
johnboyklein Omg. At my local bodega in Bushwick. This is the best #eslabeling label I have ever seen. Geyoyei = Gatorade. #eslabelinglife #bodega #bodegalife #Gatorade #Bushwick #Brooklyn #signage #highdrayshun #justspellitfromthebottle #youhadonejob #sometimesy
This can be a lot of things, but generally they're all regarding EBT and debit card minimums. Examples could be "No Foo Stamp," or "Only Cash Only."
Due to the fact that English is a second, third, or ninth language for many bodega workers, you can't be positive the signs read correctly.
Be sure to ask: "Is there an additional fee for using credit/debit?"
5. Absurdly low hanging/tattered awnings
ccino_rachita "..from the information that bombards us every day from myriad sources..." #MottHaven #SouthBronx "..we do not create this information; it helps to create us..." #BodegaLife
It's well known that long ago, humans were much shorter than they are now. Due to the fact that most real bodegas have existed probably since before the Dutch arrived on Manhattan, we attribute the overhead obstacle course at the entry way of many bodegas to that.
[anad2]
Moreover, these awnings usually look like they were made from repurposed pirate ship sails dyed a color that was popular 60 years ago and has since faded. Not to worry, just remember to duck on your way in and out.
6. General items for sale behind register
You'll probably find (only the ugly colors of) Beats by Dre earbuds, obsolete iPhone chargers (probably dusty), and an enticing lineup of discontinued shampoos & conditioners for sale behind the register of a real bodega.
They may also have maxi pads made by companies that don't exist anymore, or more likely touting their newly added wings!
At the top notch bodegas you can also find tape (but never the kind you want), clothes line rope, and perhaps a small "pharmacy" mainly comprised of packets containing 1-2 Excedrin, Tylenol PM... and definitely cough syrup.
,7. Same menu as every other bodega
This one is a little tough. Most delis have the same food menu, and all bodegas that serve food have basically that same menu with some key additions.
[anad]
Yes, there's burgers, fries, hot wings... but if you're in an establishment offering chopped cheese, Jamaican beef patties and lamb/chicken on rice-- then you're definitely in a proper bodega.
8. Out of state cigarettes/loosies
thecornersociety No Credit, No Loosies! š·: @gnarianna #cornersociety #credit #sorry #no #loosies #deli #loans #dwellafree #throop #ave #notmydeli #noway #fishes #bones #allday
One of the main reasons for bodegas is tobacco products. Of course candy, coffee, and other such staples are often just as important. But in true bodegas, the cigarettes do not cost upwards of $13.50 like elsewhere in NYC.
True bodegas sell packs of name brand cigarettes for around $8.00. How do they get away with it? The packs they sell for almost half the normal price are usually brought in from Virginia, where a pack of cigarettes is like, $4 or something crazy like that.
If you pay the right trucker, he'll bring you cartons and cartons of these in addition to whatever else he's delivering to the city. Wondering where your cigarettes come from? Look on the bottom of the pack and check the tax stamp. If it doesn't say New York, you got ripped off, kid!
As we mentioned above, bodegas are big on individual sale of items not intended for individual sale. You may also find Dutch Masters being pulled out of boxes of five, and surely Newport 100's sold one by one, usually between 50 cents to a dollar.
9. Plexiglass counter
bingwithoutthebeard I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today #ingodwetrust #allotherspaycash #wimpy #northphilly #bodegalife
It is commonplace for the counter of a bodega to be essentially a homemade coffin. There's probably poorly glued-into-place "shelving" inside this "counter" containing candies safely where thieving youngsters can't get to them.
The ironic part is there's also often a rack in front of this counter stacked with items listed in #3. Not so smart, pal.
10. Something shady happening in the back
One big giveaway you're in a real bodega is if the "storage room" in the back has people going in and out of it at all hours of the day and night.
If you hear yelling, it's probably not because somebody didn't dust the shelves (again, they don't care about that). Chances are that yelling is because somebody's getting into it over a game of dice.
[anad2]
Depending on the general ethnicity of the bodega, you may find ornate Chinese gambling parlors in the back, or seven Latino dudes playing dominos. It's all good.
If they left the door open, that means you might be welcome to lose your money to them. Go for it!
11. No organic food of any kind
teamhumane Happy #TofurkyTuesday to @the_tofurky_company, one of @TeamHumane's sponsors! š±šš±
This is perhaps as important, if not more important, than every other item on this list.
If they have kale chips instead of plantain chips, or any manner of health food for sale in the shop, it is 100% NOT a bodega. There is no such thing as tres leches cake for the lactose intolerant.
Bodegas do not cater to the organic food movement, nor do they care if you're gluten-free. Nothing is free in a bodega.
Check out 21 of the Greatest Essentials You'll Ever Find at a NYC Bodega.