How frustrated do you get when you're already seven minutes late to a meeting, attempting to maneuver your way into the subway station, but you're blocked by nothing but a bunch of good ol' fashioned sidewalk congestion?
Come on, you know the kind.
Three women with fanny packs who suddenly decide to take a few selfies with their trusty selfie stick.
A young couple with a stroller who chose the middle of the sidewalk to sunbathe.
An old woman (such NYC ruthlessness, we know) is taking forever to find her MetroCard from her wallet, and it's making you want to literally rip out your eyeballs out of your head and hurl them towards an oncoming train.
But take a deep breath now. Because all of this is hopefully about to end very, very soon.
You heard us right. Finally, new rules go into affect on April 1st (April Fool's, anyone?) that all New York City pedestrians will have to abide by.
This one helluva joke, a July 10th notice from the "Department of Pedestrian Etiquette," was recently posted outside of an East Village apartment building, and it aims to eliminate all your NYC pedestrian troubles.
Pedestrians who violate the posted commands will be forbade from entering the city for a year. (Take that, tourists!)
[anad]
We know that punishment might sound a little heavy-handed, but so be it. New Yorkers can't stand slow-moving, clumping pedestrians any further.
What's clumping? Well, that's when a pedestrian, according to the official memo, is "standing like an idiot in the middle of pedestrian traffic."
EV Grieve
Pedestrians are also not allowed to "walk with [their] face in a map or mobile device," nor are they permitted to block pedestrian traffic by staring "up at the very tall buildings or to clump in groups to look at maps."
Read the rest of the hilarious guidelines above, and then let's all get on board. Who else is in?
Can't get enough of touristy stuff? Read Hey NYC Tourists, Here's How to Avoid Looking Like One.
[via EV Grieve]