There’s a lot of going on in New York City; some of it a little heavy, some of it a little trivial. Living in this city puts our consciences to the test daily in new and interesting ways.
For example: you see an old woman struggling to carry her walker down the stairs, but you’re late for a meeting. Do you stop and help her?
We’re faced with these nearly impossible conundrums daily. Here are 8 typical moral dilemmas every New Yorker faces when living in this city.
Decisions, decisions...
1. The guy asking for money outside your subway stop
Every effing day this guy is standing here, looking downtrodden and hungry. Every single effin' day.
And every day he gets in your path and holds his money cup in your face. If you gave this guy money every time he asked for it, you’d be completely broke.
You’d be the one begging for money outside the subway stop.
But then it occurs to you: what if you were the one begging for money outside the subway stop, rather than the one with a wallet full of money?
Of course you’d want someone to spare just one quarter. You’d only need four people to spare just one quarter until you could get a burger at McDonald’s.
So, whatever, give him a quarter.
2. The guy asking for food outside the Melt Shop
Or other equivalent amazing restaurant when you’ve only eaten half of what you ordered and you’re really fantasizing about having a buffalo chicken grilled cheese to shove down your throat before you go to sleep at midnight.
And there’s that guy with his sign proclaiming that he’s a veteran for God’s sake.
Is he really a veteran? You will never know. What you do know is that he probably hasn’t eaten very much this week, and you have a refrigerator full of groceries.
So, you leave your half of sandwich with him. You explain to him that it’s a buffalo chicken grilled cheese and that it’s very delicious.
How many steps away from him do you get before you grievously regret this decision? Not many. Like four. You get like four steps away from him before you regret this decision.
3. The waitress who's bad at her job
Or a you-know-what who blatantly doesn’t care about your table. And leaves you stranded in the Sahara with an empty water glass the whole meal.
In many countries that aren’t America, tipping isn’t a thing.
They’ll never have to worry about this dilemma, but tipping is built into the American service industry to create incentive, and you know this. You feel entitled to the waitress giving you at least a smile rather than a pained grimace.
You’re also a socially conscientious New Yorker, and you know her entire paycheck relies on your tip.
You know she’s really making like $3 an hour without tips, so you begrudgingly leave 20%. But are you happy about it? No, you are absolutely not happy about it.
4. When work people want to socialize
Or the sort of weird guy from your intramural sports team. Or your mom’s friend’s daughter who’s living in NYC the summer for her unpaid internship.
You know none of these people are particularly good at socializing.
You mostly feel depleted after these hangouts, and you’re usually watching the minutes on your watch ticking until they end.
But you know if it were you, and you were in a strange new city for the summer (or if you were hurting for friends) it would mean a lot to you that your acquaintance met you for happy hour.
So you do it. You do it, and you hate it the whole time. Being a good person sucks so badly.
,5. When your friend breaks up with her boyfriend
She’s depressed and lonely, and she’s suddenly hitting you up all the time.
It does occur to you to explain to her that she was a terrible friend the entire time she was dating this guy, and that she can’t just decide she needs you to be there for her when she hasn’t been there for you for the entire year she was in that horrible relationship.
But then she sends you some texts about how she’s super sad and could the two of you please go ride the Ferris wheel at Brooklyn Bridge Park? And you have really been wanting to ride that Ferris wheel. I mean, you did miss her.
That’s the only reason you even cared that she stopped hanging out with you in the first place. So, you meet her at the park, and you have a great time with her. Moral dilemma conquered.
6. When you hear your roommate having sex
Should you tell her you heard? Wouldn’t that just make things terribly awkward for the next time you see her? But then again, you don’t want to hear it again, and you want her to know you don’t want to hear it again.
But you don’t want her thinking about the fact that you might be hearing while she’s doing it. This is a tangled knot that’s mostly too difficult to untangle, so you’ll probably just wind up saying something to her the next time you’re drunk.
7. Your roommate cooks you dinner
Then there are leftovers, and the leftovers are in the refrigerator, calling your name enticingly. You’re unsure about the etiquette here. Are the leftovers as available to you as the original meal was? Are you allowed to just have at them? Or do you have to wait until your roommate offers?
In this situation you pretty much resort to only taking small nibbles until your roommate mercifully finishes the dish.
8. There’s an old person on the subway
Or there’s a pregnant woman. Or there’s a woman with two small, yelling kids. But you’re exhausted, you just got out of a nine-hour-day at work, and your head is pounding. You were very stoked to snag this seat.
Is it your fault that that woman has her kids with her? Couldn’t everyone else on the train get up too? In this situation, you could either put in your music, lean your head against the wall and close your eyes. Or, you could stand up, relinquish your seat, and have a miserable trip home. Your choice.
Check out #YOLO: 6 Things You Need to Stop Feeling Bad About...Immediately.
[Feature Image Courtesy: NY Post]