For New Yorkers, going out to the bar is just a part of life.
Sometimes you plan it right and go out with one or two friends who like the same bars and want the same things out of their night.
Other times you end up in a small New York City apartment with a large group of friends trying to herd them like sheep to the next bar.
Here are the 11 super-annoying steps that inevitably occur when taking on the latter.
1. The pre-pre-game
The night begins with you and your roommate in your apartment listening to some music and casually drinking a couple of beers, thinking that this night is going to be chill and run smooth as hell.
[anad]
Ah, wishful thinking… how cute.
2. The real pre-game
You both decide that you’d like to spice up your night and invite some friends to join your pre-game.
Once they come over, things start to heat up a little bit. Drinking games ensue, which in turn means some heavy drinking ensues.
This part of the night often ends up being the most fun and everyone seems to be the perfect amount of drunk, happy, and having a blast.
Don’t get too comfortable with this feeling…
3. Deciding which bar to go to
Here is where the night proves more difficult.
You want to go to a chill divey feeling bar like Ace Bar in Alphabet City and throw some darts while some of your girlfriends want to go straight to Public House and get their dance on.
Naturally, one of your friends (who has been losing hard during your pre-game games) is a little more drunk than everyone else and a LOT louder.
“I’m going to The 13th Step and anyone who wants to join, can!”
Everyone eventually complies with her loud and forceful bar “suggestion,” but mostly just to get her to shut up.
4. Wrangling the troops
Trying to get everyone out the door proves to be one of the hardest tasks in life, time and time again.
Every time you think that you are close to leaving, someone opens a new beer, everyone suddenly has to go to the bathroom, someone can’t find their phone, and the girls decide they need to touch up their makeup.
Come on guys! Clocks a-ticking!
5. Leaving the apartment
Once everyone FINALLY gets their stuff together, you all head out the door. Naturally, there’s an awkward number of people trying to fit into cabs. Why can’t all social groups be divisible by 4?
Then, the frantic screaming commences while splitting up into the cabs:
“Who knows where we are going?”
[anad2]
“How do we get there?”
“I call being in Sara’s cab!”
Eventually everyone is in cabs and on their way to the bar. Hopefully everyone ends up in the same place. Fingers crossed!
6. Bar arrival
You finally get to the bar and one of your friends notices that they forgot their ID while you’re all getting carded. Classic.
She tries to sneak in past the bouncer as if he doesn’t see her right in front of him. Contrary to popular belief, when you’re drunk, you don’t become invisible.
At this point, this chick is on her own. She’s an adult and can figure it out. You’ve come so far and can’t back out now.
,7. In the bar
You’ve made it!! And you’re only one person down by the time you all get in. Not bad. Count that as a win.
Suddenly, you are overwhelmed with a feeling of love for all of your wonderful friends at the bar with you.
[anad]
“Who wants SHOTS?!” It’s almost Jackie’s birthday right? But, who are you kidding, you don’t need an excuse to start ripping shots.
“Rounds on me!”
8. After-shot aftermath
After the shots, everyone is feeling great, and they start to branch out and make new friends.
At this point, you have to come to terms with the fact that your whole group of friends will not all be together again for the rest of the night.
Your guy friends post up at the bar, 4 of your girlfriends decide they are here to dance, and 3 others find some cuties in the corner that they begin flirting with.
Decide wisely which group to join. This will determine how the rest of your night will go.
9. Someone gets too drunk
Did you guys see this one coming? One of your friends is already making out with a guy who she just met on the dance floor.
At first you think: “Okayy! Get it girl!”
But then she starts stumbling her way to the bathroom and running over every person who is in her path as if they’re invisible. Once again: drinking doesn’t make you invisible.
You forgot that she is a one beer queer and obviously didn’t handle the shot that you bought her very well. Uh oh. Here we go. Not everyone can handle their alcohol quite like you, champ.
10. Babysitting time
Since you are such a good friend, you follow her into the bathroom where you hear her heaving into the toilet. You ask her to let you into the stall with her in order to help her out.
[anad2]
Who knew bathroom doors were so hard to open? Some girl starts incessantly banging on the door because it’s “her turn.”
So, while holding your friend’s hair back, you politely point out that this throw up can either land in the toilet or on her face. So… toilet? Good choice.
11. Last man standing
You finally get your friend to realize that she’s too drunk to be out and send her off in a cab. When you get back into the bar, half of your friends have decided to head to another bar.
But, after dealing with your drunk friend, you need a beer ASAP and decide to stay.
While getting your drink, you get caught up in a conversation with a new friend who knows a girl who you used to play basketball with. No way! Small world, amirite?
When you turn around to see where your friends are; they are nowhere to be seen. Congrats on being the last one standing. But, it’s time to go home, drunkard.
You know, being alone at a bar is not a good look.
Check out Let's Just Wing It: 7 Amazing Bars for a Spontaneous Night Out in Williamsburg.