Who said your 9 to 5 job had to be all work and no play? Because that wouldn't be fun, now would it?
Business life can become very humdrum and mundane after a while, and you don't want to burn out too soon. Damn it, you need to keep the fun alive.
Luckily for you, your company hosts happy hours and networking events regularly, so you have the opportunity to get out there more and socialize once you detach yourself from your desk.
It's a good chance to get some drinks and food for free and meet people within your company who you didn't even know existed... except that sometimes when you start, you can't stop.
You may be one chardonnay deep one minute and the next, look out for you because you're a full-blown drunk-ass cyclone leaving a destructive path through a corporate networking happy hour.
Here are the 8 thirsty stages of drinking with your coworkers in New York City.
1. Contemplating your first drink
You just got to this office-wide happy hour and you're not really sure what to do. You've never been to one of these events before, and no one could have ever possibly prepared you for this.
You stand around watching your colleagues flock to and from the bar with drinks in their hands, clearly having fun and enjoying themselves. Fine, you'll have a glass of red, but only one.
[anad]
2. Chatting with your immediate coworkers
Obviously, the first group that you'll hang out with will be the people that you work with directly, because something as nerve-racking as this should start out in your comfort zone, you know?
You're not talking about work though, and you're kind of on edge about sharing your personal deets because despite this job that you somehow successfully landed, you definitely don't have it together-- at least not enough to partake in a conversation with your thirty-eight year old supervisor.
But hey, you're on the same team, so you might be... or it could be that cabernet kicking in.
3. Chatting with that person you kind of know but not really
Hey, it's that guy! You know, the one that sits in the cubicle behind you, but works for a different department? What's his name? You don't remember! Did you even know it in the first place?
Oh right, it's Tim. Hi Tim.
Tim is super chill (and also really cute), so it's great to strike up a conversation with him, get to know a little more, and maybe you guys will be bros (or so much more) in no time.
[anad2]
4. Being asked if you want a drink by this new person
Tim is an absolute dream, but he also can really hold his liquor. You watch with amazement as he sucks down the last of his whiskey. You wish you were as brave as Tim was to be pounding whiskeys back at this get together.
And now you can be, because Tim is going in for round two and he's asked you to come along and grab that drink with him. Ohmigosh is he flirting?! You'll have what he's having, please.
,5. Ordering your (what number is this?) drink
After you and your new friend finished your whiskeys together, he said goodbye so that he could go home and walk his dog... because his wife is also at a work event tonight *sob sob*
Better go have another cabernet to make yourself feel better.
[anad]
6. Being introduced to more new people
You reconnect with your core coworkers, only to find your supervisor enraptured in a conversation with the accounting department. At this point, you're tipsy, so you have #nofilter and also no problem joining this conversation.
You end up being introduced to the CFO and you endlessly chat him or her up about your company, but not without revealing some stuff that may or may not border on inappropriate.
7. Slowly sobering up
Only one drink, you said. But you obviously didn't listen to you. You're hiding out in the bathroom and peeing out your tipsiness. You'll feel a lot better after you break the seal.
As you start to feel better, you recall shooting back that whiskey with Tim and asking the CFO to hold your glass of wine while you fish through your bag for a tampon. FML, FML, FML.
[anad2]
8. Getting the f*ck out of there
Welp, you're sober now and this party seems to be dying down. Your coworkers are leaving one by one, and you don't want to be that person who closes out the party.
So get on outta there! Hop in a cab and meet up with your friends in the East Village for some real happy hour sh*t.
If you enjoyed this article, check out the 9 Inevitable Stages of Day Drinking in NYC!
Feature image article courtesy of Madame Noir]