At this point, if you still feel the need to spread your legs while sitting down on the train, you're just being spiteful. I mean, come on. For that short time on the train, you can sacrifice a small bit of comfort to let others feel much more comfortable. It's just downright mean.
In fact, one could say it makes you an animal.
Alpha males often show their "parts" to assert dominance over others.
And we all know that just how it works in human society, right? However, some of your fellow animal-kind know how to behave better than you do. You may want to take notes. With your paws.
1. This cat that wants to be a shovel
Come on, Mr. Whiskers, that's just going to melt and ruin the floor. Oh, well. At least you're not depriving someone of space and ruining their commute.
2. This dog that's about to have a brain freeze
Rover! What did I say? You have to wait your turn! Don't get greedy! Next thing you know, you'll be spreading your legs on the subway and pushing a poor old lady against the rails.
3. This kitty who underestimated her strength
Slow down there, Mittens! What's the rush? Were you trying to escape the confines of a subway car with manspreaders? Understandable.
4. This hauty hound
Good for you, Max, you can jump high. What's next? Discrediting women's opinions because you need "space" to let your parts breathe?
5. This fed-up feline
I don't know, Boots, what the f**k are YOU doing? Because I know I'm certainly not asserting my perceived notion of male dominance in a public place.
6. This frightening fido
Now, take it easy, Rufus. We can work it out like adults. It could be worse. You could be inappropriately exposing yourself like a caveman on public transportation.
7. This tabby with mixed feelings about string cheese
Jeez, Salem, you could just say, "No, thank you." You don't have to be so dramatic. It's not like I'm claiming to be well-endowed to continue being an unnecessary nuisance.
,8. This canine gluton
For crying out loud, Spot! You need to learn to share! Sure, you have a different "situation" than other people, but that doesn't mean you get to take up everyone's space food.
9. This kitty who doesn't care about your rules
Snuggles! That's the fifth glass you've broken this week! Why don't you listen? It's almost as if you don't care even when people politely ask you to stop or reason with you as to why your behavior hurts those around you...
10. This selfish shih tzu
This is why we can't have nice things, Dolce!
You come in here and disturb the peace with your selfish behavior and blatant disrespect for others' personal space!
11. This unaffectionate alien cat
You alright there, Colonel Meow? You're looking a little angry today. Cheer up, though. At least you're not pushing people up against each other for the sake of your own comfort.
12. This pup who just wanted to help
Look, we know you mean well, Benji, but maybe you should try not pushing people around.
13. This cat who craved carbonation
Curiosity really can kill the cat, Jinxy. It's okay, though, because there's two types of people: Those who learn from their mistakes and those who think they're entitled to others' space because of their gender.