The best way to develop your special skills set? Live in New York City for a while. Trust us. This city will teach you an endless amount of coping techniques and life hacks that would make you a total boss anywhere else. But here, it's just about functioning like everyone else.
Tried and true New Yorkers, native or not, have a particular set of skills. Skills that they have acquired over a very long existence here. If you can check each of these off as an expert, you may be well on your way to being a True Yorker.
1. Walking through large crowds without slowing down
So many people, so little speed, so little patience, and so little time. No matter how many times it happens, we are always running late for something (though, we seem to always end up arriving just in time).
So what do we do? We learn to weave through crowds. No matter what it takes. One moment, we'll be slipping between two people. The next moment, we'll be in the street going around a trash can to get in front of a slow walker. If done right, fast weaving can be just as effective as regular walking.
2. Balancing social life, fitness, school, and work
Functioning in NYC means you have to behave like a well-oiled machine. How everything works out, we don't know.
We work late, we're always tired, we have little money to spare, but we still fit in a workout and seeing friends amongst our work schedule. We may have to meticulously schedule our weeks way ahead of time, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
It may sound like a lot to handle, but it's better than the alternative. Being unhealthy or not working or losing your friendships.
3. Anger management
If everyone said what they were thinking during their daily grind, this town would be a horrifying place.
With such a “go-go-go” atmosphere, any interruption in our pace automatically fills us with rage. However, deep down, we know such a knee-jerk reaction isn't fair.
So, like a totally emotionally healthy human, we repress. Repress with our cold-press. Or a French press. Whatever beverage you prefer. But, look at it this way: it helps you remain calm in all kind of situations.
4. Craigslist
Pay full price for furniture? Are you kidding! Use a broker to find an apartment and pay their fees? Oh, that's a good one! Job-hunt on the streets and drop off resumes everywhere? How about no.
Sometimes, it feels like Craigslist was made for New Yorkers. Everyone's always got something to sell, something that someone else probably wants. And to avoid any and all formality, why not post what you're selling online? Quick, easy, and cheap.
The safety could be debatable, but we'll figure that out later.
5. Apartment hunting
We tip our hats off to New Yorkers before the Internet.
How did people avoid broker fees and find good deals before there was system that brought all ads together? Well, those days are over, and now the heavens have blessed us with websites like Craigslist, Zillow, Naked, and more.
When a New Yorker needs an apartment, brokers should come begging because we know exactly how to avoid them. Most apartments are going to have problems. Why pay so much more for an apartment with only one less problem?
6. Finding free food (or free anything)
Every New Yorker's favorite number is free. Oh, but what an elusive number it is.
Additionally, businesses love to prey on our need to save money. If they host a free whatever day (free coffee, free donut, free sample, etc), they know good and well that New Yorkers will wait on line around the block to get some.
Even if they haven't heard of it before, many people will just jump on line for the sake of being part of the action. However, if they don't provide other freebies later, they can kiss their new customers goodbye.
7. Adjusting for sudden weather changes
New York City weather is a b*tch. Upstate New York seems to make some sort of sense, but somethings goes wrong down here and sh*t gets all topsy-turvy.
One year, January will stab you to death with its blistering cold. The next year, it could just be a gentle nip. Even down to each day, you'll never know what's going to happen. However, we have come prepared, us New Yorkers have.
To stay warm(ish) and look good doing it, the key is to have several jackets for each degree of coldness. Casual, nippy, cold, freezing, and holy sh*tballs. Legit ranking.
,8. Ignoring odors
The subway is a hot-bed of smells. Mostly a combination of food and bodily functions. Maybe a few things we can't name thrown in there for good measure.
But, hey, what can ya do? Walk everywhere? Nope. Drive? We'd rather not die. So what's left? We get used to it.
Sure, the smell of urine might be overwhelming at first, but it'll go away if you ignore it. That's how most of life's problems work, right?
9. Finding places to cry
We didn't even know we had this ability until the blog, NYC Crying Guide, pointed it out to us. And it's pretty true.
Sometimes, our emotion repressing skills fail us and things get overwhelming. But, it's not as if private places are right at our fingertips. If there's only an alleyway at our disposal, we'll make it work. Just slip on by, let out a few tears, and be on your merry way.
We also recommend hiding in Macy's, or finding space between scaffolding and a wall.
10. Swiping your MetroCard without breaking stride
It's much harder than it looks. The slightest flinch can break your stride and back up a line of angry, impatient New Yorkers.
When it works, nothing give you such a feeling of street-smarts and actually knowing what you're doing. But when it doesn't work, it's just a downward spiral of swiping too fast, too slow, missing the card slot, etc. Eventually, you're sweating like a pig and slowly ruining the mood.
11. Balancing on the train without holding onto the poles
Walking on a boat without falling is called having sea legs. Well, perhaps standing without holding onto anything in a NYC subway should be called having your train legs. Clever, right?
Nothing makes a tourist stick out like stumbling as the train pulls away from its stop. Or holding onto the pole for dear life for the duration of the ride. Getting your train legs is pretty easy, though.
You've just got to stay alert and distribute your weight accordingly. Or find a seat. Duh.
12. Avoiding people
Despite being packed tight with millions of residents, New York City can also be one of the loneliest cities in the world.
But, for those of us with lives that never stop, being a little lonely sounds like a dream. And it's as easy as turning off your phone... or whatnot.
The majority of New Yorkers live in their own world and go about their days concerned with the people right around them. If you don't bother them, they don't bother you. So being left alone is a skill only cities like New York afford you.
13. Not giving a f**k
At the end of the day, New Yorkers couldn't care less about what people think. And we're the best at it.
Most of us work our asses off to stay here and achieve our dreams and we're not going to let other people's judgements get in the way. So if we want to go out, get trashed, and make a fool out of ourselves, then that's exactly what we're going to do.
There's no law of the universe saying being “classy” is better than “trashy.” As long as you deliver when the time comes to strut your stuff, the world is your oyster. Other than that, no f*cks are really ever given.