There are certain sounds that are ubiquitous in New York City: taxis honking, buskers picking out tunes on the subway platform, tourists asking, "Will you take our picture?"
There are certain sounds that are ubiquitous when having sex, too. I won't list examples for that.
These two soundtracks—Life In NYC and Having Sex—have a lot more crossover than outsiders might think.
This city never sleeps because this city is never quiet. This city has more yappy dogs than people having loud sex per square mile. Probably.
So next time you forget to fire up a slow jams playlist on Spotify before you get down, enjoy the tracks on the sex playlist provided by your one true love: New York.
1. "Netflix on High Volume" by Your Roommate in the Living Room
While good, Stranger Things and Bob's Burgers just aren't sexy background noise.
[anad]
2. "Pots and Pans" by Your Other Roommate Trying to Make Tacos
While tantalizing, the smell of the meat getting ready (the taco meat, that is) isn't helping you concentrate on the task at hand.
3. "Yappy Dog" by Your Next Door Neighbor's Puppy
Are you paranoid, or is he barking at the two of you?
4. "Construction" by The Street Crew Outside Your Window
Seriously, how late do they work?
5. "The 3rd Fight of the Week" by The Couple Across the Hall
Whether it's dirty dishes, towels on the bathroom floor, or coming home late from work, there's always something they're arguing about. Loudly.
6. "The Apartment Buzzer" by Seamless Delivery Man Because the Tacos Didn’t Work Out
You thought you smelled something burning awhile ago, but didn't want to stop to investigate and lose momentum.
7. "Louder Sex Than Yours" by Your Upstairs Neighbors
This isn't a competition...but yes, you're going to dial it up a bit now.
8. "Incoherent Gibberish" by The Arrival of Your Roommate’s Drunk Booty Call
There was either a sick party in the West Village, or someone got sick at a party in the East Village.
9. "Bumping Bass Beat" by The College Students Pregaming Downstairs
Are we really still listening to EDM in 2017?
10. "Sirens" by The Cop Car on the Avenue
Tbh, you hardly hear these anymore. But still.
11. "Clattering to the Floor" by Knocking Random Crap Off Your Nightstand
It didn't sound like glass breaking, so no point in stopping now.
12. "Clapping" by Your Roommates Hearing You Climax From the Other Room
At least they approve?
[anad2]
13. "Silence" by Putting Your Pillow Over Your Head and Wondering Why You Live Here
Oh, New York City. We love you, but we don't always love to make love in you.