Opposites Attract? 5 Struggles of Being an Introvert While Dating an Extrovert in NYC

You and your significant other are like polar opposites. You're a hardcore introvert, and they're a social butterfly, and it works. 

Getting you to go out is like pulling teeth, yet you cant seem to get them to sit still for more than a half hour without them wanting to socialize or do something. 

Sure, it's not always easy, but you balance each other out. Sometimes you need a push to socialize, and sometimes they need someone to reign them back in. 

There is constantly a give and take, but you wouldn't have it any other way. 

Here are 5 major struggles of being an introvert while dating an extrovert in NYC.

1. Lazy weekends


On weekends, all we want to do is cuddle under a thick blanket with our furbaby, drink a glass of good cab (and by good we mean not your run-of-the-mill Tour de Franzia), read a book, or re-watch Star Wars. Personal interactions? They're totally unnecessary when we have literary relationships.


When you're dating an extrovert, staying in on a Friday night is a thing of the past. Your SO, the social butterfly, will want to be the center of attention with you by their side. Yes, they understand your aversion to social events and your anxiety, but they also challenge you (sometimes) within your limits. 

2. Drinking with others


Regardless of your introvert/extrovert status, once you've had two or three, the social caterpillar trapped inside your introverted cocoon will either wither further into a dark, shy corner, or blossom into a beautiful, charismatic butterfly... or at least, that's what you think. 

Your extroverted SO will more than likely continue to be a social superstar because that is what they are. Sometimes your mutual friends will comment on how different you are after you've had a pint or two. 

For some of us, we become chatty Cathies. But then there are other times when you're perfectly content to just sit back in a corner, happily listening to your friends banter before excusing yourself to hibernation, dragging your SO along with you. 

Despite the endless line of questioning, "Are you okay? What's wrong with you?" introverts are not inherently party poopers. 

3. Having other friends


Your extroverted SO most likely has tons of friends. Wherever you go, people love them. They're essentially charismatic people pleasers that love to be in the spotlight. 

You certainly have friends as well... hey, just because you're an introvert doesn't mean you're disagreeable, it just means you prefer the company of a quality chosen few. 


Your SO knows that your besties mean everything to you, and respects the hell out of your friendships. 

They might even envy you for having such close-knit friends, when they have groups of friends who they may be close with, but not really on the same level as you are. 


4. Fights


Introverts are typically much quieter than extroverts. We tend to think about our decisions and our words carefully before letting them spew out. We say typically, because these aren't absolutes in terms of personality. But usually, we think carefully before we speak because we don't speak as often. 

So while you're trying to word your offense and defense in your mind, you'll come up with a pretty concise statement before speaking it. However, you may also tend to ignore issues or swallow them because you might believe it might be better than bringing them up. 


Similarly, your extroverted SO may be very animated about an issue. They might be incredibly vocal about their feelings which is actually a very positive thing. 

To be honest, extroverts are much better at dealing with conflict than introverts. We tend to lose, or give up, a lot. We're peacekeepers. We're okay with that. 

5. Living together


Do you like living in a quiet borough somewhat removed from the never-ending energy of Manhattan? Yeah. Sounds nice. 

Sure, we may go into Manhattan once and a while, but we want our home to be someplace that isn't constantly blowing up with sirens or car horns. 


On the other hand, our SO feeds off the energy like a baby bird looking for sustenance. They love constantly being in the center of it all. That bar down the block? The bartenders know their name and what they're drinking. 

It's a balancing act. 

Check out 9 Places in NYC to Meet Someone Other Than Tinder

[Feature Image Courtesy Pinterest] 

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