Valentine's Day is coming up on Sunday, so we've got to let you know what's up.
New York City can be entirely beautiful, but it can also be entirely disgusting, dirty, and extremely unromantic.
Really, when you're living in NYC, you get both ends of the spectrum. You get the stunning, sun splattered rivers and you also get the gross, dirt splattered subways.
Want to know where not to bring your date for Valentine's Day? Well, we can help you with that. We're experts on which places in NYC are the least romantic places.
Now, if you have to choose been NYC's least romantic places and NYC's cliché romance places, choose the cliché ones every time. The least romantic places are where romance goes to die, and the cliché places are just where tons of other romances have been before.
Anyway, there are some really less-than romantic places in this city. Read on to find out what they are. Then, go to NYC's underrated Valentine's destinations instead.
1. Times Square
helenadelonge Times square 😱❤️🏙📍🇺🇸 mañana nos vamos a ver Aladdin! Las entradas en la taquilla de las escaleras estaban carisimas y por internet en ticketmaster nos han salido genial 👌🏼😊 #timessquare #newyork #amazing #manhattan #holidays
We're laughing. We're cracking up.
Why? Well, because Times Square is the most Instagrammed place in the world. It's an international destination. There are definitely couples from all over the world who are going to think it's super duper cute to make out in Times Square for Valentine's Day.
Us? Well, the florescent lights, crowds, and desperate advertising makes us sick. Seriously, it makes us want to puke. Is puke romantic? No, it isn't.
Please don't bring your date to Times Square on Valentine's Day. Just don't do it. Times Square isn't romantic, alright? It never will be, either.
2. Port Authority
rosulek #naptime @ #portauthority #nyc #somebodygethimablanket #TGIF #drunkalready
Oh, you wanted to eat at the Au Bon Pain at Port Authority on Valentine's Day? Hilarious. If you want your date to stay with you for another single second, steer clear of Port Authority all 24 hours of February 14th.
We don't care if you "thought you'd take a bus out of the city." Take a train. Take the E train to Jamaica and take the LIRR out of the city if you really need to get out of the city.
Port Authority is dirty, falling apart, teeming with panhandlers and mean employees, plus it'll suck your cell phone battery dry. It's the opposite of romance. Don't go there.
3. Penn Station
shyguy1995 A DJ at Penn Station #dj #pennstation #thursday #thursdaynight #picoftheday #djpenn
If you ask us, the only place in the city that's worse than Port Authority is Penn Station.
Actually, we don't know which one we hate more. They're both pretty much the worst. If you're riding the New Jersey Transit it isn't so bad, because at least they've adorned their section with marble and acted like they tried, but the Long Island Railroad and Amtrak are both pitiful.
LIRR and Amtrak: do better. Especially you, Amtrak, since you charge so much. Anyway, Penn Station is where dreams go to die. Avoid it on Valentine's Day if you can.
4. Turtle Bay
bvillesmurf ITS BEEN A WHILE..... #turtlebay #Briteboyz #raveturtles #edm #rave #rage #trap #Trancefamily #Kandi #Kandikids #Deadplur #Beyourself #Plurvibes #Edmlifestyle #Dance #Edmgirls #Edmguys #Britegirlz #Turtlegrounds #Ratchet #Trance #Dubstep #Housemusic #edmnyc #turtlegrounds #turtlebaynyc
Uh, scantily clad women carrying jell-o shots on trays? Scantily clad female bartenders dancing on the bar?
Yeah, sorry, but Turtle Bay is just not the locale for Valentine's magic. Sorry, Turtle Bay. We loved you when we were fresh out of college and didn't know any better but now, we know better.
If you're fresh out of college and single, Turtle Bay is great. You'll definitely be able to find someone to hook up with, although if you're a girl you might have to deal with some groping first.
If you're in a relationship, though, stay far, far away. You've been warned.
5. Subway stations
architecture_in_formation Sliding doors... #49thstreet #subway #mta #subwaystation #caution #yellow #architecture #streetlife #citylife #vscocam #vscocam #mtrain #newyorklife #newyork #newyorkcity #nyc #beauty in the #grit
You spring for an Uber on Valentine's Day. You just do.
The subway stations are dirty, depressing, and crowded. We put up with them on a daily basis to get around because we're not millionaires and they're often faster than taxis, but on Valentine's day it isn't about getting around fast for cheap.
It's about riding in style. It's about not dealing with smelly, mean people, avoiding beggars, and fearing face slashers.
You don't have to deal with all the subway nonsense in an Uber, so get one of those for Valentine's Day.,
6. Your office bar
nomyblog #thomashenry #officebar #limoparadies
We get it. You get free alcohol at your office, and you have 24/7 access.
However, bringing your date to your office to access the free, 24/7 bar is definitely not a Valentine's move. It's an impressive, scandalous move for any other evening of the year.
Yes, it seems counterintuitive, but Valentine's isn't about what you can get for free. Also, your office isn't exactly super romantic. You don't exactly get hot and heavy from staplers and copy machines.
Sneak into your office and take advantage of the free alcohol on a different day, okay?
7. The local bar you always go to
It's very nice that you and your beau have a corner bar that you always hit on weekends. That's really very touching.
However, if your idea of a cute Valentine's day date is the same bar you go to every weekend, then it's not really special for Valentine's isn't?
Yeah, we didn't think so. Find a new bar for Valentine's. Better yet, find a fun Valentine's event. We've got some suggestions for you right here.
8. Your railroad style apartment
eraromero Back to #Brooklyn! #cleanslate #railroadapartment
Especially when your single roommate is home. It sucks for you that you have a railroad style apartment, but you should definitely outsource your Valentine's hookup to your significant other's apartment if this is the case in your life.
Making your roommate walk-in on your Valentine's lovemaking to get to his or her bedroom sucks for your roommate, and it also sucks for your significant other.
Save everyone the strife and go somewhere else for your post-dinner and drinks Valentine's hangout. You can Netflix and chill somewhere else for the evening.
9. Dollar pizza
tendertender No blizzard can stop the dollar slice beacon of hope #pizza #stormjonas #bedstuy #bedstuyordie #dollarslice
Don't get us wrong, we love dollar pizza as much as the next New Yorker.
Dollar pizza has saved us in plenty of situations where we were down and out and needed a quick meal cheap.
Is dollar pizza where you should spend your Valentine's date? It definitely isn't. Dollar pizza has its time and its place, and Valentine's day isn't it. You should spend more than $2 on your Valentine's meal.[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]