We like to put sausage in our bodies. We like to put it in our mouths, and we like to put it in our minds.
Ya know, pretty much all locations featuring available gaping holes.
But with so many sausages flopping around the streets of NYC, it can be hard to pin down which one to bring home and make love to...we mean eat.
So, without further adieu, here is a list of the 5 best wursts in town.
Schaller’s Stube Sausage Bar and Weber (1652 2nd Ave, Manhattan)
This window outstretch is attached to Schaller and Weber, an old school German market and butcher shop that offers all sorts of delicious European treats.
They also sport a wide variety of sausage options, including andouille, kielbasa, and chorizo. Always, always order extra Stube sauce -- it’s nothing short of magical.
But our favorite is the bacon cheddar bratwurst, which is quite literally smoked sausage stuffed with bacon and cheddar cheese.
The cheese will be dripping, and so will you.
Zum Schneider (107 Loisaida Ave, Manhattan)
Zum Schneider is a “Bavarian Bierhaus” and German restaurant. Go there and get loaded on some of the yummiest beers on tap.
Then, order some sausage. The Weisswurst gives you two Bavarian white sausages with sweet mustard.
So, like, double fist that ish.
The Currywurst is sliced Bockwurst in curried ketchup; it’s so delicious it’s almost painful to not eat it.
Got a big party? Order the Riesen Schlachtplatte -- it feeds 6-8 people and will provide you with all the sausage, pork, sauerkraut, and potatoes you can muster(d).
See what we did there?
Ukrainian East Village (140 2nd Ave, Manhattan)
You might unknowingly walk past this hidden treasure, missing out on the opportunity to enjoy one of the tastiest meals in NYC.
They’ve got all sorts of Ukrainian treats, including hot and cold borscht, pierogies, and blintzes, but the combination platter is the reason we keep coming back for more.
Why? It has kielbasa, and we literally die for it. That’s right, we’d die for the kielbasa.
Anyway, go here. It’s a secret.
Well, it was. Jig’s up.
Spritzenhaus33 (33 Nassau Ave, Brooklyn)
It’s a beer garden with lots of options on tap, and home to some of the best bratwursts in the tri-state area.
There's Krainerwurst, which has smoked garlic pork and beef with chipotle aioli, Buffalo, which has spicy adobo chipotle, and a Rabbit and Veal option with mango chutney.
Our favorite? The Duck. It’s got bacon. It’s got chipotle. And it’s got fig spread.
What else can we say?
It’s a wiener.
Rocco’s Italian Sausages (1034, 5010 Northern Blvd, Long Island City)
It’s quaint. It’s fast. And OMG it’s so damn tasty.
Known by many for serving the best sausage and peppers sandwich in Queens, customers flock here daily to get their fix of mouth-watering goodness.
The sausages are sweet and spicy, the peppers are sautéed to perfection, and the staff is efficient.
To their competition, we apologize.
To the rest of you, we’ll see you in line.