Do you think being drunk and dressed up at 10 a.m. on a Saturday is deplorable? Then you’re probably also the kind of person who roots for the robbers in Home Alone (editor's note: First off, if getting drunk and dressed up at 10 a.m. didn't include drunk Santas, I'm down. Second, how do you not root for Joe Pesci?).
But if you are a merry person with even an ounce of joy in your life, then you better be ready for SantaCon 2016 (unsolicited editor's note: sleep! Sleep is good and it also brings joy!)!
On December 10th, the streets will run red with Saint Nicks and Nicolettes in various states of inebriation and dress.
What is SantaCon? Oh nothing, just a legendary annual Santa convention-cum-bar crawl, organized in various bars and cities around the country.
New York’s SantaCon (the best one, IMO) is a long-standing tradition dedicated to fun, and, as noted on the official website, ‘Ho’ing for Charity.’
That’s right! You can get s**t-faced and still feel like a decent human being (no promises of that well being carrying after to the morning after, however)!
With a $10 donation, you can help organizations including Safe Horizon, Urban Pathways, and Boys Town New York bring services to New Yorkers in need. Plus, you get an awesome Santa Badge and priority entrance to some of the best venues on Santa’s map.
Venues you say? Yep. This year, there are seven participating clubs, including Webster Hall and SOLAS, which will feature all-day DJs, Sexy Santa contests, and even free cinnamon buns at Slake! The bar list is far more expansive, with over 30 bars prepared and excited for Santa’s arrival.
(As an important note, the bars, located in either Gramercy, the East Village, or midtown, are all cash only, and do not accept fake ID’s. New Yorkers under 21 can participate in some of the surprise events in store, but will not be admitted to the bars.)
Of course, Santa is a busy guy, with tons of presents left to make and eggnog to drink, so he will not be stopping at every bar - it’s all a surprise!
How will you stay on track with the other Santas? All you have to do is text “Follow @Santacon” to 40404 to stay updated on the next stop in Santa’s sleigh. Be sure to also pay attention to the official Twitter page.
The fun is going down from 11 a.m. until 5 p.m., but all participating Santas are being asked to assemble like dutiful elves at the pedestrian plaza by the flatiron building at 10 a.m. sharp for some gifts and pictures.
If you didn’t have time to donate online, you can avoid getting a lump of coal in your stocking by bringing the $10 to this kick off in exchange for the shiny Santa badge.
So bring your cash, your ID, your friends, and your alcohol tolerance to the best fest this far from the North Pole. Of course, also remember to bring your costume.
This is non-denominational, but don’t be the Grinch that shows up with just a Santa hat. If red isn’t your color, you can even come as the Festivus Pole or the Hanukkah Armadillo!
And don’t forget to read Santa’s Code before heading out. The official rules for the crawl, the Code is the surefire way to avoid the naughty list. The gist of it is the 5 F’s: Don’t F**k with cops, kids, staff, NYC, or charity.
Have fun, be safe, and get festive! And drink up, because there’s only about two weeks until it’s time to see family for the holidays again.
FAQs can be found here.[Feature Image Courtesy EVGrieve]