Unfortunately for tequila drinkers, the liquor has a pretty bad reputation for, well, putting the drinker on their *ss, with or without pants on.
Yes, we've all had those moments of one too many tequila shots, but that doesn't mean we should skirt the stuff forever.
Some things are too scary, irrationally or otherwise, that you just have to deal with. Then there are some fears you should face headfirst, and still there are other fears you can only tackle once you're properly informed.
Tequila is something you should only tackle after a lick of a salt and a bite of lime (for after the shot, of course). Then, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Doesn't make sense does it? Doesn't matter. It's tequila. You've probably had one too many. We've probably had one too many. No, we're not writing this from under a table. We don't know how this table got here.
Here are 7 reasons why tequila drunk is the absolute best drunk in the world.
It can be a classy drunk or a sassy drunk
What kind of night do you want to have? Whatever the case, tequila should be the drink of choice. Want to go all out and relive your day as a FratStar? Jose will do you dirty. Trust us, we're experts on this. Want to impress a date? Sip a paloma, or basically a grown up version of a grapefruit margarita.
To be honest, it really doesn't matter what you choose to drink. What matters is the quality of the tequila. If the tequila has the term "mixto" in the title, it could be as little as 51% agave juice, meaning diluted with sugars and other additives. You want the goods: 100% blue agave. Sorry Cuervo.
It's the best free drink you can get
Free drinks. Everybody loves them, at least until we wake up the next morning with a freight truck-sized hangover from the cheap free booze.
Yes, the best things in life are free, and while we'd never want to appear ungrateful for the offering of free liquor, if someone offers a whiskey shot straight from the well, we're more inclined to pass in favor of literally anything tequila.
Of course, upping the ante to the higher shelf doesn't hurt. Pass on the Patrón, give us Avión or nothing at all.
It's a fun shot
We're right about this one. Fight us, we'll win. Tequila shots are the only type of shots worth doing. For one, you really don't need a chaser... you've got salt and a lime wedge! That erases the unnecessary calories and sugars consumed merely to swallow the shot.
Plus, who has ever said "no thanks," when someone shouts for tequila shots! Honestly, if such a person does exist, it's nobody we want to be friends with.
Does this one really need an explanation?
You can't make a margarita with vodka... well, you could probably try, but we sure as hell wouldn't want to drink it.
It has a song!
What other liquors have a song dedicated entirely to it? None that we know of... unless there's some Russian drinking song regarding vodka, in which case Na Zdorovie!
For now, we'll stick with the "Tequila Song" by the Champs.
It's a stimulant
If you thought all alcohols were depressants, you'd be wrong.
Apparently, it has the opposite effect, which might explain why your margarita drinking friends are always so much happier than your besties who drink gin.
You might actually be drinking the fruit of the gods
Like most alcohols, tequila has a very long history with nods to religion. The Aztecs believed that Quetzalcoatl, a god of creation, fell in love with Mayahuel, the granddaughter of the evil goddess Tzintzimitl who had plunged the earth into darkness.
Tzintzimitl killed Mayahuel (goddess of fertility) when she found out about their love. Quetzalcoatl burried her, and an agave plant grew on her gave, which gave a liquid that the Aztecs believed was meant to comfort Quetzalcoatl's heartbreak.
The Aztecs believed that the liquid that came from the agave plant would comfort people... which, to be fair, it does, though we're not so sure people drink it just for comfort anymore.