Guess what, New Yorkers? It's almost Valentine's Day! The most overrated, unnecessary, useless, so-called holiday in the history of holidays.
Try walking into any department store and not get bombarded with pink and red glittery decorations that are shooting out of some little freakishly strange cherub holding a weapon. It's impossible.
Whether you're single or coupled up, this made-up holiday can be hell on feelings, your budget, and your even your relationship status.
We're all for celebrating love, but that doesn't mean that we need to parade it around in front of everyone's faces one day a year just to prove that it exists.
Here are 7 totally reasonable reasons why we hate Valentine's Day in NYC.
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Chocolate, nice outfit, dinner, wine, roses, a Hallmark card-- the list goes on and on! It's the typical Valentine's Day starter kit when determining your month's financial budget. Plus, we live in NYC... have you seen the prices of chocolates? Roses? Yea, good luck, pal.
Maybe you think that because you're a girl, you don't need to budget for these things... wrong. Welcome to the 21st century, where women have jobs, can and should split bills, and even buy chocolates for a guy without feeling weird.
We're not saying you have to, but guys like chocolate (and money) too.
If you're going to spend your money on anyone this Valentine's Day, spend it on your mother. After all, she's the reason you exist and deserves a hell of recognition for putting up with you. Mother's Day just doesn't cut it... that, and moms love roses... and chocolate... and money.
2. It's only semi-real
virginradiocalgary I'm just happy for the milk... 😭😭 #foreveralone #singlelife #valentinesday #milklove #xoxo
First things first: according to NPR, the origins of Valentine's Day stem from an ancient Roman festival where naked men would slay dogs and goats and then whip naked women with the hides before coupling men with women through a lottery for the duration of the festival, from February 13th - 15th.
Io Lupercalia! That's what you say, apparently.
The day was named partially due to the fact that two men, both named Valentine, were executed on February 14th, and the fact that the Catholic Church celebrates their martyrdom.
Somehow, we've created this consumer-based holiday rather than celebrating the true meaning of Valentine's Day: fertility and love. We really don't need cards, chocolates, and flowers to celebrate that. Come to think about it, we really don't need condoms to celebrate the true V-day either.
Why oh why are we expected to purchase lots of chocolate, buy nearly dead flowers that will surely die soon, and make reservations that are so fancy that you'll blow half your paycheck on one meal? It's just foolish.
3. Every restaurant is packed
memez4ever TRUE lol so they sell carnations at my school for like $2 each like the day before Valentine's day but Im not gonna be at lunch the day they give them out because theres an honors english meeting for high school (like if you wana try out for it) and IM GETTING EDJIMACATED lol (not like I was gonna get a flower anyhow tho lmao like I got ones from friends before tho so I can't say I've never gotten one but tbh I don't like how not everybody is gonna get one like it's a bit exclusionary but that's just my school I guess lol) •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Credit ~ found on @comedy_.rocks 's account Tags ~ #meme #memes #valentines #Valentinesday #valentinesmeme #valentinesdaymeme #valentinessaymemes #valentinesmemes #puppies #puppy #dog #dogs #doggo #adorable #sweet #actually #honestly #same #relatable #relarablememe #relatablememes
Do you like to go out to eat? Great! So do we! Do you like to be squished in a confined area with a bunch of other people? Unless it means getting to work on time on the subway, the answer is a definite no.
However, each and every year people make reservations weeks in advance for a restaurant that will be serving a set menu in a packed dining room. Hell, some restaurants may even put out more tables and chairs for the occasion just to squeeze out some more revenue.
On top of that, it's not uncommon to have a long wait even though you have a reservation. Once you do sit down, your service may be rushed and food lackluster. It's just the nature of the beast that restaurants are not built to deal with this amount of diners in one evening.
We may have been slight fans of the holiday when we could receive little notes in a baggie tied with a lollipop in grade school, but after working through a Valentine's day service in a kitchen, we'd rather cut off our own hand than dine out on that day.
4. It ruins self-confidence
huey_flow #SELFIE #IHateValentinesDay #TheSalt #FuckEveryone #NoGirlWillLoveMe #ThrowingAFuckingPityParty #CantWeHaveAnOppositeValentinesDay #WhereWeExpressHowMuchWeHateEachOther #PoorRalphLisaWasStraightColdInThisEpisode #ICanRelate #YouCanSeeTheExactMomentHisHeartBreaks
If you're a girl, you've probably already been inundated with ads and sales regarding high-priced lingerie indicating that you need to purchase something pink and lacy in order to make this Valentine's Day special. Hint: unless you want some lacy pink lingerie, you don't need it.
On top of that, on this day that celebrates couples, it's rather upsetting to realize that you don't have that special someone in your life. You could be happily single and playing the field, but when this dreaded day comes around, your singleness is constantly thrown in your face.
Or, you could have that special someone in your life, but feel too much pressure to make the day more special. You should cherish your significant other every day of the year, not just Valentine's Day. If you want an excuse to take treat them, we have some. They're called weekends.,
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We've all been told that you have to couple up and spend the day being lovey-dovey with another person, shower them with gifts, and treat them to a nice dinner. You really, really don't have to.
There are so many better things to do with your significant other to celebrate your love than the dinner and a movie date night. Spend the day at the park, go to a brewery, get out of town. Whatever your plans are, don't blow your budget just trying to impress.
If you've just started seeing someone, this day gets awkward as all get-out. Do you bring up the potential to have a date on Valentine's Day? Is it just casual, or are you in the stages of becoming a thing? This day brings all of that into the open, whether you like it or not.
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Is there some unwritten rule that states that on February 14th, any place is good for a full-scale make out? Because for some strange, unnecessary reason, people forget to leave their bedroom activities in, well, the bedroom.
We're all shacked up here, but that doesn't mean you'll see us playing tonsil hockey on the 1 train going downtown on V-day. Sure, we might hold hands, make eyes at our SO, but we're not going to parade around like we're at a porn convention. Keep it clean, people.
7. Movie, TV, Radio
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Ugh, is there honestly anywhere we can escape from the horrid pink and red celebration of consumerized love? We don't watch the Hallmark Channel because we really don't need to see sappy rom-coms telling us our prince will someday come.
On top of that, it seems like every television series, fictional or not, has some sort of special Valentine's Day episode. Even if you manage to find a movie that's not based on an overly corny love story, you'll still be bombarded with pink and red bedecked commercials because, well, commerce. Just... No.[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]