Usually when someone announces they're going to take something "into the future" you assume they've got the present figured out. 

Isn't that how progress works? You've mastered or overcome something and then you move on? Like, isn't that what State Testing is for? 

Maybe we're being a little too idealistic here. Remember, this is the MTA we're talking about. If our reasonable expectations aren't being met, why would they hold themselves to something reasonable?

That's just where we're at though. Nothing. Makes. Sense. 

The New York Daily News reported that Wednesday, MTA Chief Tom Pendergast announced more 21st Century game-changing plans to meet the Millennial expectations for public transportation. 

You're right. That is one of single stupidest things you've ever heard. 

What do Millennial expectations consist of? Well, duh, the essentials: Wi-Fi and cell service, USB charging ports, digital info screens, and a "modern" makeover for 31 stations.

Now, we don't get down with contrived colloquialisms, but like, if that isn't putting lipstick on a pig, then what the hell is? 


How about get your house in order, MTA? When it comes to good service, numbers never lie. The Daily News went on to report that last year, 22% weekday trains on average were late pulling in. On average there were 49,856 delays a month last year, and that's up 15% from 2014.  

That's just the weekdays. Service screw-ups climbed nearly 40% to an average of 13,235 delays a month.

“If you’re delayed, but you’re ... comfortable, you’re connected, you have the ability to stay in touch with the outside world or your loved ones, time goes a lot faster,” Pendergast said Wednesday“If you have nothing to do, and it’s a dirty, dank and difficult station, time goes very, very slowly.”

Wait, what? Time goes by very slowly when there are always delays. How about fix that? We're curious as to how he came to the conclusion that meager upgrades like these were at all in line with our actual expectations. 

The assumption is that Pendergast seems to have made here is that our expectations are ill-informed. 

Ideally, yes, we would like to be able to use Wi-Fi while we're trapped underground. Of course, in that ideal situation, we're not actually trapped to begin with. 

Check out 12 Things New Yorkers Actually Need More Than the MTA's Measly Improvements.

[via New York Daily News] [Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]