Just Walk Faster! 11 Differences Between a Real New Yorker and a Fake

You don't have to be born and bred here in order to be considered a New Yorker. 

New Yorkers come in all shapes and sizes, and from all over the world.  

However, a "real" New Yorker can spot a faker from a mile away.

The smallest details like how they behave on the train or how they give directions can be dead giveaways. 

We've walked by enough piles of trash and taken rides in enough piss-smelling train cars to know the difference, trust us. 


1. How fast they walk

The first, and perhaps the best way to tell New Yorkers apart is their walking speed. A fake New Yorker will lull behind the tourists without batting and eye and will probably also wait for the "walk" signal to light up. 

[anad]

A real New Yorker will not only maneuver their way around the tourists and jaywalk, but they will also curse out the slow walkers (in their head of course). 


2. If they take that "free" mixtape


You see that starving artist trying to offer you his mixtape for free? Yeah, he's either about to scam your ass or totally ruin your morning commute. 

Real New Yorkers know what's up and to not fall for the trap. #StayWokeFam


3. Which direction they look at when walking

Look, we're not gonna lie here and say that the skyscrapers and shit aren't breathtaking. They definitely are...It's just that we've gotten past that stage of being in awe. 

The Empire State Building looks the same as it did to us today, as it did yesterday and the day before. If you see a real New Yorker walking through Manhattan, they'll be looking straight ahead. Plus, craning your head upwards like that really hurts your neck after a while. #FirstWorldProblems


4. How well they can swipe their MetroCard

Okay, so we've all had the ill-fated swipe. You know, the one where you're so confident that you swiped correctly that your abdomen takes a straight killer hit from the turnstile. 

But that happened only like once this past month right? If it takes you 5 swipes to finally make it through, like our good friend Hillary, you are definitely a fake New Yorker. Swipe. Wince. Repeat. 


5. If they eat from a street cart

Ah, yes, the good ol' food cart. Tourists that claim that street carts are "dirty" are truly missing out. 

Where else can you find your morning bacon, egg, & cheese and your drunk munchies halal combo platter on the same corner? A real New Yorker has no qualms about eating street food. And that glue they're talking about in that GIF? It's that crack-like white sauce. Mmmm...


6. If they have a local bodega

Another quintessential part of being a real New Yorker is having "your" bodega. Maybe it's the one on the corner by your apartment or the store across the street from work, but you can confidently walk in and order without having to look at the menu.

Maybe the employees even know you by name! If you say you're going to your local bodega to a fellow "New Yorker" and they look at you like you have 3 heads, they're probz faking it. 


7. If they make a big deal over seeing a celebrity 

Since we live in the greatest city in the world, we're bound to run into a celebrity here and there. And yeah, we're just as excited as the average person when we see one, but here's the difference. 

We understand that they have lives to live. We're not going to bother them for a photo (we're too busy trying to secretly take a Snapchat). 


8. How they feel about Times Square

We were all once enchanted with Times Square. The buildings, the signs, the countless people around. It was something magical. 

The keyword here is "WAS". A real New Yorker probz hates no part of the city more than Times Square. If you're anything like me, you'll actually make your commute 10 minutes longer just to avoid the damn place. 


9. How they give directions

If you've mustered enough courage to ask someone for directions, the person you picked to ask might have the "bitchface" on. She looks like she's seen shit and most importantly, she looks like a New Yorker. 

But don't be fooled. If she doesn't give you directions in intersection format, she's not a real New Yorker. When she responds with "5th ave and 49th st", trust her. You won't get lost. 


10. How they act on the subway

If you've never taken the subway before in NYC, it can be a little overwhelming. The crowds of people, the boys doing flips off of the poles, and the homeless guy sprawled out in the corner may make your commute a little less than comfortable. 

You can spot a real New Yorker in this scenario if they look like they're not even bothered by any of the commotion. They're trying to squeeze into that coveted seat by the rail and they're definitely not hugging the pole. P.S. they're also calling the "subway" the train, because that's what it is...duh. 


11. If they point out the rats

Another aspect of the transit system that might freak a tourist or fake New Yorker out is the rats. And holy shit, do we have rats. 

But, you won't see a real New Yorker pointing out the rat they just saw on the tracks because at this point, they've already seen all of the vermin the city has to offer somewhere in their tiny studio apartment. #BeenThereDoneThat

[Feature Image Courtesy Travefy] 

get spoiled in your inbox

recent

popular