It doesn't quite feel like it outside, but rest assured, it is officially baseball season.
Sunday marked opening day for the 2016 season, but the Yankees open up today at home against the Houston Astros, a team, you might remember, that kept them out of meaningful post-season play last year.
If you're making it to the game at Yankees Stadium in the Bronx this afternoon, well, godspeed. It's cold as hell, rainy-- basically the antithesis of baseball weather.
If you're already on your way to the stadium, hopefully you made it in style by taking one of the transit museum's throwback Yankee trains. If not, maybe you can catch the Train of Many Colors on Friday at Citi Field, but then again, you're having to watch the Mets so... hard pass on that, Charles.
But enough about baseball itself. When we pay exorbitant prices for tickets and beer, what we're really doing is making sure the focus of the stadium experience is in good hands: food.
Ballparks around the country unveiled their sinister creations last week. The Atlanta Braves seem to want to punish and clog the veins and arteries of seemingly morally bereft southerners venturing into the stadium with a pizza burger.
Without going into any more detail on that, yes, it's as disgusting as you think.
While the Yankees didn't get nearly as disgusting, they went nearly as unhealthy as you'd expect with a bunch of new menu items that are all nearly deep fried and dripping with grease.
There's the "Tape Measure," a $27 cheesesteak measuring nearly two-feet long and topped with white American cheese or Cheese wiz and stuffed inside a hoagie roll.
There's the "Barnyard Wedding," a sandwich featuring a hash brown on top of a fried chicken cutlet on top of a cheddar cheese-covered beef patty.
There's the "G.O.A.T. Burger," a custom blend burger topped with crispy bacon, American cheese, and pastrami. There's the "Double-Double Burger," which is your run-of-the-mill double cheeseburger using grilled cheese sandwiches as the bun. Dope or nah?
But there's more. The New York Post reported several other creations that'll make their debut this year, including Buffalo Chicken Quesadillas, Four-Cheese Grilled Cheese sandwiches, French Onion Grilled Cheese sandwiches, a Jim Beam Chicken Sandwich and Thai Chicken Fingers.
Just in time for the bleak weather however, was the announcement from DNAinfo reporting that Yankee Stadium would be serving Egg Cremes and... hot soup?
Yes, the Yankee Stadium outpost of Hale and Hearty will also join the fun of culinary delights this year serving up a rotating cast of seasonal soups like chicken noodle and sweet corn chowder. While that seems weird, think of how much cold rain you get at a baseball stadium. Soup's not a bad move.
Neither are incredibly delicious Egg Cremes from Linda's Egg Cremes out in Brooklyn.
Overall, there's a lot that could kill you, so be cautious. Maybe observe before you indulge. You can observe a lot by just watching.[via New York Post] [Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]