How's your hair? Good hair day? Bad hair day? No hair, don't care, Vin Diesel Bald Eagle stylin'? Maybe you're fighting the receding tides of change.
Maybe Father Time is LeBronning your dome and chasing your hairline to the back where it belongs (behind MJ, Kobe, and even Tim Duncan, if you understand the NBA analogy here).
Whatever you're rockin' up top, you most definitely didn't come out of the womb looking that fresh.
Yes, there are few times in the course of human history where we behold a true miracle in the unlikeliest of places.
The year is 2016, and the miracle we all behold in awe is this baby born with full head of lush, brown hair in... Staten Island.
Yes, too few are the things Staten Island ever gets to brag about.
It's the ugly cousin borough. It's home to the least growth in NYC, but the first-ever resident farmer.
It's also getting a dope Ferris Wheel, an incredible food market, a Mighty Quinn's, and, of course, it's home to Staten Island Chuck, the decidedly dumber weather-predicting groundhog.
Now, we count baby Isabelle Kaplan among the more fascinating aspects of Staten Island culture.
We have the baby's cousin, Colin Kaplan, to thank for taking the baby to social media. "My baby cousin has hair that looks like a news anchorman," he captioned the photo, according to USA Today.
Thanks for that, Colin, but instead of indulging in the very much outdated Ron Burgundy jokes, let's talk about what kind of power that head of hair should garner in the future.
Yes, despite the unfortunate geography of your birth (okay, so that's a joke because you're still from NYC), we think that your hair allows you to be so much more than a simple anchorman.
Of course, we don't know what the world you live in will look like in the next 15-20 years, but we know that hair like that demands that you explore all options outside of a newsroom in Staten Island. Never settle, Isabelle. That hair is dope.
Check out Cuomo & de Blasio Ban Non-Essential Travel to North Carolina.[via SILive] [Feature Image Courtesy SI Live]