We hate to be the bearer of bad news– especially because the news has been nothing but bad lately.
Apparently the United States' bacon reserves are the lowest they've been in half a century.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! DEAR GOD, DON'T TAKE BACON FROM US AT A TIME LIKE THIS.
Okay, everyone calm down. There's still a ton of frozen pork belly (approximately 17.8 million pounds) on reserve, so we're not going to run out of bacon anytime soon.
Buuuuuuut the price of America's favorite breakfast guilty pleasure is going to rise.
Speaking of bacon, the cause of the shortage is the fact that we've been consuming the pork delicacy like greedy lil' piggies.
Ohio Pork Council reports that demand for frozen pork belly is outpacing supply. The organization’s president Rich Deaton says farmers can't keep up with the rapidly increasing demand despite raising “more pigs than ever."
[anad]
Obviously Americans are overreacting to the news (US?! DRAMATIC?! NEVER!!!), and the New York Times published an article telling readers to chill out.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO REMAIN CALM AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!
Ooooh, looking at pictures of bacon helps.