If you didn't tune into the Golden Globes on Sunday night, catch up right here, you didn't miss much during the actual event.
Well, unless you haven't checked any social media feeds in the past 48 hours, and somehow haven't gotten a full recap of Dame Meryl spitting some truths.
TL;DR, Hollywood looooves Hollywood, and its affection for itself can only be matched by how much they love talking about how "normal" they are (We love you, Meryl, but we see you).
What you might actually be missing out on? Some amazing f*cking movies and TV that got some well-deserved, but unexpected little shiny awards.
We already told you to watch the frontrunners– Moonlight, Hidden Figures, La La Land (if you MUST), etc.– but a few of these might have flown under your radar.
Sure, just because we missed them doesn't mean you weren't paying attention, but WHATEVER.
But if you were right there with us when Westworld didn't win Best TV Drama, read on. We thought we were just in a liberal bubble, who knew we were coastal HBO elitists as well.
Oscar-bait not your thing? Wait for it, we didn't forget about you, either.
Okay, we know we've talked about this one before, BUT WE CAN'T STOP.
If you haven’t watched Atlanta, you’re missing what was arguably not only the greatest first season of a television show in recent memory, but one of the greatest, most celebrated black-centric shows on TV right now (or, ever).
Living under a rock? FX's Atlanta is a comedy-drama about two cousins trying to make it in the Atlanta rap scene who are chasing better lives along with notoriety and fame. Two weeks after its September premiere, it was renewed for a second season. It’s that good.
Both the creator and leading star of Atlanta, Golden Globe winner Donald Glover a.k.a. Childish Gambino, plays a Princeton dropout turned music manager that is helping his cousin Paper Boi’s rap career take off.
So like, there's a reason plays are plays, and movies are movies. We'll save you high school thesis, but the point is, it's f*cking hard to adapt a play into a movie– well, a movie that people will want to sit through.
Fences, originally by August Wilson, succeeds, in our opinion, but cannot escape the fact that it's still a damn play, and features about 100+ lines of unnecessary dialogue. Plays ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Still worth the watch? F*ck yeah.
Featuring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis, who could probably stop our hearts with a dramatic reading of the phone book, Fences will get the nods, but it probably won't get the award recognition it deserves.
3. The Crown
NGL, we were thrilled to have enough dope TV dramaz to unseat Game of Thrones this season– Westworld obvi, or if not, Stranger Things.
But nope. The Crown. Sure, it's also a Netflix show, one that was kindaa high up on my queue, but only only because my mom kept telling me to watch it. Sigh. Can't believe I'm gonna actually have to watch something my mom recommended.
And I'm sorry, we need to nonsensically complain about Westworld being robbed just one more time. Evan. Rachel. Wood. OMG. ROBBED. She displays like 10 emotions in 10 seconds during multiple scenes!!! And doesn't make it look stupid!!! She made us cry (EDIT: okay, she made me cry).
Gonna come back and complain more if Claire Foy doesn't make me cry when I get around to watching The Crown. Just sayin'.
4. The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story
Besides rockin' an all-star cast including Cuba Gooding Jr., stand-out Sarah Paulson, John Travolta, and Nathan Lane, The People v. O.J. Simpson, completely redefines one of the most prolific American court cases of the 20th century, the trial of O.J. Simpson.
We feel like people never talk about this series enough anyway. We don't know why. It gets award buzz, like they destroyed the Emmy's.
But do people actually watch it? They definitely should. Lucky for you, the 10- episode series will be streaming on Netflix soon.
It's not often that a foreign film's actors receive recognition for their work, but Isabelle Huppert's performance in this French film landed her Best Actress in a Drama.
Elle follows a successful head of a video game company, whose life irreparably changes when she's assaulted in her home. Intrigued? Catch it in NYC at the Angelika Film Center.
6. Manchester By The Sea
You know what? Nah, actually, because F*CK Casey Affleck. Come back when we're ready to have a conversation about how "assault allegations ruin a man's career."
Nope, not even giving you the trailer.
7. A Series of Unfortunate Events
Once you've trudged through the Oscar hopefuls, so you can present yourself in society (or at least, hold a conversation with your co-workers), you can go back to watching the fun sh*t.
Located squarely under the genre of fun sh*t, sits the much anticipated adaptation of Daniel Handler's (Lemony Snicket, if the last time you heard of this was when you were 10) A Series of Unfortunate Events, which will be airing on Netflix this Friday, the 13th.
We're crossing our fingers, but tentatively hopeful that this series will be NOTHING like that Jim Carrey movie that we're going to never talk about again.
8. Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds
Who's ready to cry their f*cking face off?
After already anticipating this documentary's release on HBO after it premiered at Cannes last year, the film turned into a heartbreaking farewell, when Carrie Fisher suddenly passed away (she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra), and her mother, Debbie Reynolds, died the next day.
The doc chronicles the two women's relationship loosely through interviews, photos, and vintage home movies– make sure you open up an entire box of tissues beforehand.
Okay, hear us out. This loose adaptation of those Archie Comics that your grandmother used to buy you from the grocery store is either going to be really good– or really bad, but we bet it's going to be a lot of fun.
Starting off with a missing student, a la Twin Peaks/Veronica Mars/Stranger Things, Riverdale promises to serve up mystery, intrigue, and plenty of teen dramaz.
Catch it on The CW (because, of course) starting January 26th.