Imagine the scene with us, will you?
You sit up in bed-- or, if you're in a Casper mattress, you wrench yourself from the skies of heaven and then sit up in bed. You're hungover AF.
You start by guzzling the glass of water on your beside table, and then you scan your possessions. Did you make it home with your phone, wallet, and keys? If the answer is yes, it means victory all around.
Now, you need to get something to eat. Your rumbling stomach sounds like the creature from The Grudge and you're not planning on leaving your bed anytime soon.
Now, you need to get something to eat. Your rumbling stomach sounds like the creature from The Grudge and you're not planning on leaving your bed anytime soon.
Why would you? Casper's mattresses are comfortable enough that you'd never need to leave, but they're also supportive enough that you can eat in bed without sinking deep into the hot cushion abyss of memory foam.
When you've got the springy latex and high-density memory foam of their mattresses conspiring together to form a perfect surface, you can spend all day in bed. Okay, you'd leave your bed just to answer the door for your breakfast delivery, but that's it.
Read on to see which breakfast foods are absolutely perfect to eat in bed when you're hungover.
1. Bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel
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You can absolutely substitute sausage for the bacon, and you can substitute whichever bagel gets you through the day. Whatever you choose, a greasy, handheld sandwich is definitely the move here.
We're partial to everything bagels because we love bagels absolutely bursting with flavor, and we think it mingles perfectly with the heavenly taste of bacon. Maybe that's just us.
Of course, New York City is the bagel capital of the universe, so you've got a go-to bagel spot, one that rescues you from the depths of your hangover on the regular.
There's one stipulation: If you're the kind of person who loves to load your breakfast sandwich with ketchup, you have to be careful. You definitely don't want ketchup splattered on your bedding.
2. Peanut butter sandwich with bananas
You probably don't order this breakfast. You probably stumble out of your bed, trudge your way into the kitchen, and actually whip this one up yourself like a top-notch chef or something.
This breakfast wins in several categories, like the eat-in-bed-ability of the sandwich. It's pretty hard to spill, smudge, or otherwise ruin your bed while eating a peanut butter sandwich.
You'd basically have to deconstruct the sandwich before you could cause any actual damage to your bed.
Also, this breakfast is great for hangovers: there's potassium in bananas and protein in peanut butter. Pair this with a nice, cold, icy glass of water and a Netflix binge sesh, and you'll be feeling less like you want to puke your brains out in no time.
3. Fruit smoothie
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Okay, hear us out on this one: No, it's not huge, greasy, or delicious, but it might be exactly what your body needs if your hangover is really hitting you hard.
There's fructose in fruit smoothies that'll push the toxins out of your body and boost your metabolism. The vitamins will help you rehydrate, and you'll get some of your energy back.
If you have a choice of blended goodness for your smoothie, you should go for bananas, kiwi, or spinach.
They're all filled with potassium, an electrolyte that's often depleted in your body while you're pounding beers.
Plus, smoothies win in the "not requiring a fork and knife" criteria. Just pop a straw in that bad boy and start sipping.
4. Breakfast burrito
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Provided the burrito is durable, and well constructed, it should be fairly easy to consume in a Casper bed.
There needs to be enough salsa that you can taste it (since everyone knows salsa is the best part about breakfast burritos), but not too much salsa that it splatters out and onto your bed.
The really stellar thing about breakfast burritos, aside from their tangy cheese, salty egg, and, of course, salsa, is that they require no fork or knife. If the burrito is durable enough to hold its shape, you can lean back on your pillows and munch on that thing without too much maintenance.
This is a huge hangover win. You'll be on your way to feeling okay in no time. It also doesn't hurt that eggs are full of amino acids that help boost liver function and cure your lame headache.
5. Cereal
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Definitely don't eat a boring cereal. If you're really as hungover as we think you are, you definitely don't want to be eating plain Cheerios.
Grab yourself some Honey Nut. Or better yet, get some Trix or Lucky Charms. You deserve to treat yourself, especially since your headache feels pretty terrible.
Life-hack the in-bed cereal by pouring your cereal into a heaping bowl of yogurt. If you do spill, which we really hope you don't, it'll be worse than spilling milk, but since yogurt is a little more solid than milk, it'll be a little more difficult to spill.
6. Eggs, bacon, and potatoes
Here's our rationale for this one: Yes, you'll have to prop up your plate. Buy a tray already. You're going to be eating breakfast in bed a lot now that you have the world's comfiest mattress.
Plus, it's filling. It'll get in your stomach and soak up all the alcohol. We don't know if that's how it works scientifically, but it definitely feels good.
Potatoes have got to be the world's most satisfying food, arguable only on the grounds that bacon is more satisfying. Yes, you can substitute sausage for the bacon. Yes, it's better if there's toast with your breakfast.
Plus, you'll get all those super good working, good for you amino acids in eggs.
Life hack your hangover for the win.
7. Pancakes
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Pancakes are probably the world's best breakfast, especially if you order them from a diner and combine your order with a side of sausage and home fries.
The reason pancakes have been relegated to the bottom of this list-- and it pains us to say it --is because pancakes are difficult to eat in bed.
While it isn't exactly hard to prop a plate up in your legs (sitting criss-cross-applesauce), it's too hard to keep syrup from splattering all over your bed. The depressing part about this is that nothing can rescue your bed once it's been doused in syrup. It simply isn't worth the risk.
So, like we said, pancakes are highly delicious and we absolutely recommend them as a hangover remedy, but it'll require some finagling to eat them in bed.
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[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]