I Think I Have an Obsession with Murder & 7 Other Thoughts I Had Watching HBO's 'The Night Of'

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I love a good mini series. 

It's short, sweet, and to the point; unlike so many television shows these days that seem to drag out season after season until the plot is so convoluted that the writers can't untangle their way out of it and are forced to bring it to a weird/unsatisfying close. 

One of HBO's newest dramas, The Night Of, centers around a college student in New York City who find himself the suspect in a murder investigation after an encounter with a mysterious woman while driving his father's cab.  

This description contains all the buzzwords I need to be intrigued about a show, and, more importantly, seems like a good way to tide me over until Adnan Syed's upcoming hearing (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). 

The series, while captivating and well-acted, also puzzled me in more ways than one. 

And since no one from the production has contacted me about providing the DVD commentary, I figure I would take this opportunity to share the inner (sometimes outer) monologue that occurred as I watched The Night Of

1. "There's no way this dude is under 25."

natsvalenzu #rizahmed ๐ŸŒน

My years of watching 30 year old actors portray high school students in angsty mid-2000s classics such as One Tree Hill and The OC have trained me to recognize when the casting directors are trying to pull a fast one on me. 

Do they really think I won't notice the receding hairlines and subtle melancholy that lives in the eyes of someone who's survived their 20s?

No, Riz Ahmed won't be signing up for AARP for quite some time, but he's certainly well beyond his college years. 

As I suspected, a quick Google search confirms that he is 33 years old, a good 12-ish years older than his character, Naz. My research also informs me that he's a rapper? Will have to look into that further. 

2. "Ugh, this character again."

shallowexistence No caption needed. ๐Ÿ˜Œ #movie #moviequotes #eternalsunshineofthespotlessmind #clementinekruczynski #joelbarish #2004 #film #drama #jimcarrey #katewinslet #anxiety #anxious #life #scared #relatable #icanrelate #movies

Solemn, complicated, broken-yet-beautiful female who intrigues the main character while still maintaining an air of mystery? 

She wears dark nail polish and has a bit of a drinking problem and is sexually aggressive in a way that the male writers clearly wish the women that they encounter would be?

Nope, definitely have never seen that before. Unprecedented. 

3. "Dude, this girl is CLEARLY trouble. Run away. RUN FAR AWAY."

mag_binstock Blown away by first episode of new #hbominiseries #TheNightOf #richardprice writes best cop dialogue ever. Of all time. MUST SEE.

Anyone who gets in a cab in the middle of the night by themselves and wistfully breathes at their cab driver to take them "to the beach"  is clearly not in a good place. 

She's also remains completely unaffected upon discovering that her cab driver is not in fact a cab driver, but borrowing the car from his dad and therefore does not understand how to get around the city in the slightest. 

In any normal circumstance, a real New Yorker would be perturbed (and if female, probably a bit skeptical of her safety) to find out that their cabbie is a phony.  

All of this combined with her Avril Lavigne-style eyeliner and extremely forthcoming substance abuse point to almost certain danger. RUN AWAY, NAZ. 

4. "Okay, this was clearly actually filmed in NYC. 4 for you, Glen Coco."

princess_kny Fake NYC subway station on pearl street! Wonder if it's for suits! #toronto #fakeUScity #fakenyc

We're all pretty tired of seeing fake New York City depicted in various TV shows and movies. 

Has anyone ever seen a Manhattan bar as spacious as MacLaren's on How I Met Your Mother? No. Because they do not exist. 

But it's immediately clear that this series was actually filmed in The Big Apple. The cramped streets and shots of classic NYC architecture are dead giveaways, as is the constant discussing of the city's geography and the naming of specific streets.

In fact, they almost hit that little too hard, as if to tell the audience "Yes, real New Yorkers wrote this show. It takes place in New York. Pizza. Subways. Woody Allen."