The time is upon us: college is resuming for another year of binge drinking, breakdowns, and last minute term papers, and it has brought with it a new freshman class.
And while New York City is known more for subway hostility than hazing-heavy fraternity, it still gets to witness the comedy that comes with freshman move in, artsy posters and crying parents included.
Regardless of whether their new orientation T shirts bear the name of Columbia or La Guardia, these freshmen are all going to make the same mistakes that come with the first fall semester.
Whether you’re an adult with a real job and responsibilities (gross) or you just escaped the first-year status, here’s some surefire signs of the freshman takeover to look out for.
1. Your favorite bar is full―and carding
meldoeslife It's a good job that I am on my way home and away from the general public! #anxiety #hadenough #toonoisy #toocrowded #overwhelmed
That low-key spot you and your friends hit every weekend without fail?
It’s soon to be full of fresh-faced freshies giggling over actually getting into a bar, likely wearing too much makeup and drinking only shots much too quickly. Wooooo!
2. You see people traveling in packs
haves.sam Times square is a place you go once, then never go back haha. #nyc #timessquare #toomanypeople
New Yorkers are known to have both fast feet and smart mouths, slow movers illicit explicit language on the daily.
The baby freshman will become all too familiar with some ‘colorful’ words in their first weeks until they stop clogging sidewalks and school corridors with their poor sense of direction.
3. Tattoo and piercing studios are getting great business
pulselightclinic Tattoos don't have to last a life time. Call or DM us to get an idea of how many treatments it'll take to make yours go away. ✋🏽 #pulselightclinic#tattooremoval #tattooremovallondon#london#beaty#skin#goodskin#noregrets#dermatology#science#badtattoo#tattoomistakes#botchedtattoos#tattoolondon#tattooslondon#laserhairremoval#hairremoval#beautytreatment
What’s the point of freshman year if it doesn’t amount to a few ill-planned nipple piercings and tramp stamps?
Walking in the village, you’re bound to catch some youngin’s overpaying for a butterfly tattoo and sticking it to the man.
4. Late night food places are being infiltrated
artichokepizza Perfect shot #artichokepizza #chelsea #highline #meatpackingdistrict #nyceats photo cred: @street.photo.guy
Staples like Artichoke and Papaya Dog will always have customers, but the lines will become considerably longer once the freshmen realize how useful these establishments are at counteracting the effects of pregaming too hard.
That 24-hour diner down the street? Yeah, they’ll find that too.
5. You hear people taking ownership
taniawrites Competing allegiances #mta #cta #nyctransplant
The New York natives have an excuse, but all of the Middle-America transplants with stars in their eyes will have you more annoyed than the characters in Times Square.
No, being here 3 weeks does not make Central Park or Washington Square Park "your" park, and posting artsy Tumblr pics of the skyline with a text overlay doesn't help either.
6. There’s an air of disappointment
cj_go #californiagrown #nyctransplant #homesweetome #farfaraway
NYC is the greatest city in the world, but it doesn’t exactly fit the college campus-frat house stereotype of all the movies, nor is it always the place "where dreams are made of."
You’re likely to come into contact with kids realizing that adulting is hard, that the MTA doesn’t care if a class has a no lateness policy, that the freshman 15 is a very real thing, and that mice and roaches have better attendance than most students. Just try not to laugh at their misery.
7. Museums are cool again
joseloslp #VangoghInTheMoMA #NYCMuseums #Vangogh #StarringNight
If you like to channel your inner Blair Waldorf by relaxing on The Met’s steps, you’ll likely be bombarded than more than just the regular rush of tourists.
Freshmen will surely be found taking artsy pictures in museums across the city to seem cultured and mature.
8. People actually trying to talk to others
beach_bum_1207 Yasss! #MoveBitch #RoadRage #RealNewYorker #StopStrolling
The New York way is headphones in, eyes down, mouth closed.
It will take the freshmen a while to learn or remember this, so brace yourself for excessively loud talking and laughing, abundant smiley introductions, and an aura of "Let’s be friends!" Just keep up that Resting Bitch Face.