8 Reasons Why St. Patrick's Day in NYC Is the Absolute Worst Thing Ever

Now that SantaCon is a good three months in the past, New Yorkers are itching for another reason to consume excessive amounts of alcohol and break things. 

And how convenient! St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner and with all of this city's Irish bars and restaurants being jam-packed, it's the perfect excuse for such debauchery.

It may seem festive, but more often than not, this ritual is exceedingly stressful for the rest of the city's inhabitants, bartenders and pedestrians alike.

All that being said, here are 8 reasons why St. Paddy's Day in New York City is just about the worst thing ever.

1. The inevitable violence

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It's unclear why this particular alcohol-centered holiday yields more brawls violence than any others, but it happens year after year.


The countless bar brawls, fighting in the streets, and other such chaos has come to be an expected part of the holiday, and no one can seem to figure out why.

2. It's not really about Irish culture... at all

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There's no denying that the Irish are known for their appreciation of a good celebration, especially if alcohol is involved, but do any of the New Yorkers stumbling from bar to bar on March 17th really have Irish culture in mind as they're donning green hats and double-fisting Guinness?

Probably not.

3. ... And it's definitely not about a Saint

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Do you really think any of these drunken celebrants are thinking about Christianity on this particular day? Or any day for that matter?


4. Commuting is extraordinarily unpleasant

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The subways are packed, Penn Station is an even bigger nightmare, and the streets are crawling with city dwellers as well as visitors from New Jersey and Long Island who have come to the city for an evening of raucous "fun."


5. Everything that can be dyed green is dyed green

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This includes bagels, milkshakes, even beer.

It looks even more festive the next morning in the throes of the worst hangover of everyone's life.

6. That whole "Kiss me, I'm Irish" thing

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As if douchey guys in NYC bars didn't have a large enough arsenal of terrible pick-lines, St. Patrick's Day has handed them this gem.


7. Leprechauns = terrifying

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While the idea of a leprechaun may be adorable and harmless, the execution of a leprechaun as a costume is never not horrifying.


There are bound to be tons of these green creatures roaming the streets on St. Paddy's, so be aware.

8. Garbage everywhere

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As if the city isn't filthy enough, this beloved holiday tends to generate absurd amounts of trash, bottles, and let's be real, probably bodily fluids, in the streets and sidewalks.

While you will definitely need to tread carefully when stepping out of your apartment on March 18th, at you can breathe easier knowing that you have another 364 days until these shenanigans happen again.

Check out 7 Lucky Spots to Celebrate St. Patrick's Day in NYC

[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram] 

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