Okay, you know being in New York City laundromats is a weird place to be, but unless you're one of the lucky few to be blessed with in-apartment washers and dryers, you've got to go to them.
Well, you've got to go to them if you want clean clothes, which, we're going to go ahead and assume you do.
When you've got MeUndies underwear, when your underwear is the most comfortable underwear out there, you behave differently at the laundromat.
Here's the thing: When you've got MeUndies underwear, when your underwear is the most comfortable underwear out there, you behave differently at the laundromat.
Before MeUndies, you definitely tried to wash your underwear discreetly, so no one would see your underwear.
After MeUndies, though? Well, now you try to be discreet about the fact that you're holding your underwear up, so everyone knows what you've got and how amazing they actually are.
Either way, you tend to overhear some weird stuff in NYC's laundromats. Read on to find out what they are.
1. "Can you watch my clothes for me?"
This question is posed by the middle aged woman you recognize from your train every morning who never fails to sit directly in the middle of two seats despite glares of anger from surrounding passengers.
The pack of Marlboros in her hand indicates that she's planning to step outside for a smoke break, not tend to some emergency that requires her presence at this exact moment.
You smile and say, "Sure," fully planning to go back to your laundry in the machine across the room and not give a damn if someone decides to thieve all of her belongings.
Maybe it's immature, but you're still nursing your hangover from last night and you can't pass up the chance for revenge on the A train's serial seat-stealer.
2. "Where'd you get those?"
?
This question is jarring at first, as you didn't notice the tall handsome stranger leaning against the machine next to you as you're loading in your clothes.
You also don't really ever expect any acknowledgement of your delicates, as there exists an unspoken laundromat rule that everyone just pretends that they can't see each others' bras getting tossed around in the dryer or pair of underwear that falls from the ball of tangled clothes being pulling from the washer.
But after you recover from this initial shock, you realize that this person might just be hitting on you. Despite the unconventional location, you're not exactly in a position to turn an interested person away, so you bat your eyes and utter a coy, "Thank you."
Your hopes are soon shattered, however, once he explains that he's looking for a gift for his girlfriend and your MeUndies look like they'd be perfect.
Yes, you're disappointed, but you also revel in the opportunity to inform this gentleman of the many perks of MeUndies - comfortable, tons of styles to choose from, and super affordable. You also highly recommend the lounge pants.
3. "Miguel esta aqui, necesita ocultar inmediatamente!"
Apparently, Dolores' husband Miguel has returned early from his niece's quinceañera in the middle of her weekly tryst with the pool boy. But luckily, Miguel was involved in a motorcycle accident on his way home and struck with amnesia, and forgets that Dolores is even his wife.
You thank your lucky stars that the TV in the laundromat has subtitles and continue to fold your sweaters and watch as Dolores discovers that her daughter's piano teacher is also her long lost (evil) twin.
4. “Ma’am, please get your daughter out of the dryer.”
A woman who apparently has no interest in tending to her children has become so immersed in her People Magazine that she hasn’t noticed that one of them has climbed into the dryer and shut the door while her brother laughs uncontrollably from the other side and reaches his hand up to press the start button.
You are certain you are about to witness the main story on the 11 o’clock news later this evening, but luckily the woman manages to pull herself from her chair just in time to swipe the boy’s hand away and pull her daughter out of the machine.
5. "Those are cute!" - Random Dude
Ok, so this guy is clearly hitting on you.
He also clearly just wandered in off the street and smells faintly of whiskey ("Sir, it is 10 a.m... on a Tuesday!").
But instead of growing irate, you accept the compliment and decide to once again take advantage of an opportunity to share your underwear wisdom with a stranger.
You kindly inform him that MeUndies offers options for men as well-- ones that will do a better job of covering his balls than his current situation.
6. "No Mom, the stain won't come out."
Let it be known that these words are uttered from an adult person. An adult who still does not know how to do their own laundry without consulting their mom.
If you don't know how to get a strain out, just google it like the rest of us. Or better yet, take it to a dry cleaner. From the looks of that stain, it's probably not something you want to be discussing with your mother anyway.
7. "Those are cute!" - Random Girl
You're taken aback for a second, but then you realize that she's just stating the obvious. The pair in your hands is one of MeUndies' unique monthly designs. Of course they're cute.
No. They're not cute. They're f*ckin' adorable. She realizes this, you realize this, the bearded goon fawning from afar knows this. Everyone knows this. It's MeUndies.
What they don't know is how amazingly comfortable they are. What they don't know is how a monthly subscription to gradually replace your ratty delicates could save you $8/pair.
What they don't know is that there's more than just these cute boy shorts you're in the middle of folding.
They don't know about the French Terry selection, the t-shirts that aren't rough to the touch, the lounge pants you could and do wear for days and days. But now that they know how cute your underwear is, it's not hard to tell them it's MeUndies.
8. "Can I borrow some quarters?"
Okay a few things here: Borrow? Really dude?
What the hell does that mean? Are you offering to buy some quarters with cash you couldn't manage to break down into change?
Or, even worse, are you actually asking to borrow the quarters with the intention of returning them at some point?
When could one hope for the return of said borrowed quarters? Do we get a card? An IOU? A coupon? What?! What do you mean?!
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