Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
Mondays might be a terrible way to spend 1/7th of your life, but those 2 1/2 days of absolute freedom sorta make up for it.
Ever since we've all sold our souls to capitalist America, we've been living for the weekend.
And if you don't want to spend yet another weekend curled up in the fetal position binge-watching Netflix like you usually do, we've got you covered.
When the inevitable "what are we doing tonight, guys?" moment comes up with the squad, you'll be there to save the day.
Friday, March 24th
1. Prohibition Style Cocktail Party (59 W. 21 St.)
Can you imagine a time when you couldn't roll through your neighborhood bar for an after-work beer? Neither can we.
I mean, how did people even survive in the 20s? Sometimes we take for granted how truly blessed we are to have an endless selection of bars open until 4 am.
Relive the prohibition era and all of its glory at this semi-bougie cocktail party happening tonight.
Saturday, March 25th
2. Dessert Goals (64 Dobbin St.)
Okay so now that it's spring, you've started working out right?
Whether the answer to that is yes or no, you still deserve a trip to the NYC Dessert Fest. Treat yo' self, girl.
With over 20 vendors and a free candy shop (yes, free) your sweet tooth will without a doubt be satisfied. Just try not to count the calories along the way.
3. $1 Pizza Crawl (237 Sullivan St.)
Tinder game not too hot right now? No worries. All hope is not lost in the miserable dating world of NYC.
Join a bunch of other single millennials on this awesome 1$ pizza crawl disguised as a date walk.
You'll get to meet some new people (read: possible future soulmates) while walking from pizzeria to pizzeria where the journey will culminate at a bar. Nothing helps your dating game like a little social lubricant.
If this isn't the lazy single millennial's dream, then we don't know what is.
4. NYC Craft Distillers Festival (335 Bowery)
Unlimited samples of amazing craft beer all day?
Yes, please. This massive beer festival will serve over 150 beers, ciders, and meads from 75 different breweries from across the country. The 20s themed fest will have a speakeasy feel, complete with a jazz band.
Now is the time to get out that flapper dress that's been hiding in your closet because modern-Gatsby attire is suggested.
Sunday, March 26th
5. BrunchCon (263 Prospect Ave.)
If you've decided to embark upon any of the Saturday activities we've suggested, you might (probably will) have a hangover. And what's the best cure for a hangover? More drinking of course!
Continue the binge drinking weekend you've already committed yourself to at BrunchCon, the convention boasting samples from 50-plus brunch spots, an open bar of Mimosas and Bloody Marys, and a market where you can buy brunch-related gear.
There will also be speed dating and a “hangover lounge,” which is a dark room full of hair-of-the-dog cocktails and greasy food.
One day we'll solve our problems with maturity. This weekend, though, it'll be alcohol.
6. Mac and Cheese Smackdown (222 W. Houston St.)
Unless you're a lactose-intolerant celiac (in which case, we're sorry for you), you need to be at this Mac and Cheese Smackdown.
A few restaurants have taken up the challenge of feeding New Yorkers the best mac and cheese they've yet to consume. And we've taken the challenge of making sure our pants don't rip at the seams.
Oh, and did we forget to mention? Two complimentary beers will be in the mix.
If we were you, though, we'd totally snag the VIP tickets, which come with unlimited samples of mac and cheese and beer. Kraft's got nothing on this one, fam.
7. Geeks Who Drink Trivia (856 East 136th Street)
If you've ever been bullied in school for being "too smart", you're not alone.
Your fellow geeks gather at the Bronx Brewery every Sunday to test their knowledge in categories on subjects ranging from fake movies or tv shows in real movies or tv shows to classic novels described by those who have not read them.
If the thought of other people being as much into trivia and beer as you gets you hyped, then don't miss this one!
8. Macy's Flower Show 2017 (151 W. 34th St.)
It feels as if Macy's has become a part of Manhattan. Every year millions watch the Thanksgiving parade. But did you know they have a flower show every spring as well?
If the winter death of foliage has depressed you as much as it has us, you can walk around this exhibit featuring breathtaking floral scenes with blooms, fantasy flowers and lush plants from around the world. The event will be iconic American carnival themed complete with old-style carousels and the types of candied treats your grandma used to give you as a kid.
Catch the nostalgic flower wonderland from March 26th to April 9th.[Feature Image Courtesy GuestOfAGuest]