As you probably know, Season 7 of Game of Thrones kicked off last night with the the episode, "Ed Sheeran Cameo" (Wikipedia says it was called "Dragonstone?" But IDK).
Some serious sh*t went down, obviously. You know... things. Men yelling in rooms. And ravens with questionable numbers of eyes. There were maps. And people wearing black...
Okay, let's just get to it– after killing mad people for some reason or another, everyone's fave tiny serial killer, Arya Stark, rides up to a small camp of singing soldiers featuring none other than singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran.
The internet exploded like the Great Sept of Baelor (RIP to my girl Margaery) with hot takes. And rebuttals. And rebuttals to those rebuttals. Twitter this morning was basically the War of the Five Kings, but everyone was the Freys.
It's also come to our attention that Game of Thrones has been peppering celebs throughout Westeros for a while, albeit less noticeably as zooming into to one of contemporary music's biggest faces. Gary Lightbody? Who knew?
I'm just saying, if there's any definitive rule in the Game of Thrones universe, it's go big or go home. And if they're going to start the season with Ed Sheeran, I will only be sated when I see Beyoncé telling the White Walkers to get in formation.
1. Lorde
Witchy 2013 Lorde, not trendy pantsuit 2016 Lorde. Obviously.
Because she could be cast as one of R'hllor's priestesses, or even Melisandre's demon-shadow baby thing (so like, are we just never going to talk about that thing again?) with very little style direction needed.
[anad]
2. Blue Ivy Carter
Blue makes the cut, because did you hear her freestyle? And she'd fit right in with this season's theme of little girls kicking serious a$$.
3. The Haim sisters as the Sand Snakes
Yup. We're calling for a straight up recast. No explanation needed. We figured it out with Daario, we'll figure it out again.
4. Tupac's Hologram
If there are people that can see the future by staring into a fireplace, and Cersei Lannister can chop her hair into a perfect Mia Farrow pixie cut, there can def be holography.
We don't know what The Hound saw in the flames, maybe it was Diddy.
Note: I'm actually aware that Tupac is a rapper, not a pop star. Please let me have this.
5. Sextina Aquafina from BoJack Horseman
What is this, a crossover episode??
6. Justin Bieber
Because you know what would have made Ed Sheeran's scene even better? If the Lannister soldiers were singing a rousing chorus of "Despacito." Don't @ me.
[Feature Image Courtesy Lifestyle]