The Definition of a Clusterf*ck: 6 Places in NYC to Avoid Now That It's Warm Out

As temperatures rise, hipsters and tourists emerge. It's just science. 

They've been hibernating all winter long, growing their beards and restocking their fanny packs, and they're ready to take over the city once again. 

They're everywhere, and they only seem to be growing in number. 

Luckily, there are plenty of other places to visit in New York City besides the over-hyped, over-populated locations. 

But just in case you need a reminder, we've broken down a list of what's sure to be the most populated areas of NYC this summer. 

Avoid them like a paranoid American avoids the A train after an Ebola scare. 

1. The High Line 


If you're interested in feeling like you're part of a school of confused, slow-moving fish, simply walk The High Line on a Saturday afternoon. 

It will take you minimum 9 hours to finish the walkway, by which point you will not be able to summon a single drop of the summer-infused joy you had when you started. 


We're all for taking our sweet time to enjoy some Manhattan views, but come on. This is just ridiculous. 

2. Central Park

Your chances of being killed by a bicyclist are already astronomical given that you live in NYC.

However, the odds practically triple once you step into Central Park in the summertime. Rollerbladers and runners also need to be factored into this equation.

With the amount of humans bounding up and down the many paths throughout the park, you'd think that they're participating in a triathlon with a million dollars and a pot of gold as the winning prize. 

Basically, if you're looking for a place to enjoy a leisurely stroll or procure a spacious spot to sprawl a blanket on the grass, look elsewhere.

3. Smorgasburg


Yes, it's super delicious, and you can find some crazy-amazing stuff there, but in the summer it also attracts hipsters like moths to a craft beer. 

You'll see swarms of bearded men, Bon Iver tattoos, and babies dressed better than you ever will be. 


It will be comforting at first; these hairy, unwashed people will guide you towards delectable culinary creations and some of the best coffee you've ever tasted. 

But soon, horror will sink in as you start to forget what human chin looks like. Best to avoid the whole situation altogether. 


4. Brooklyn Bridge


Thanks to Miranda and Steve's heartfelt reunion on that one episode of Sex and the City, the Brooklyn Bridge is riddled with New Yorkers and tourists alike once the warmer weather strikes. 

We get it. It's pretty, it's romantic, whatever. 


However, there are plenty of other picturesque spots to enjoy in the summertime, so you're better off finding one of those.

5. The subway 

This is fairly difficult, considering it's the main mode of transportation for New Yorkers.

But if you can walk somewhere, we recommend that you do that. Especially if you're traveling in tourist-heavy areas. 

If not, you may be subjected to riding in a car chock full of people who have no grasp on proper subway etiquette, which we all know is equivalent to hell. 


6. Times Square

This is something you should be avoiding anyway. 


At all times. We're ashamed we have to tell you this.

Check out 15 Touristy Things All New Yorkers Must Do Before They Die. 

[Feature Image Courtesy Flickr] 

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