We're pretty sure no one was more destroyed by the results of this election than Late Night TV.
From John Oliver to Seth Meyers to Samantha Bee, our late night hosts have been pleading with Americans for months not to force them into four years of bad spray tan/racist Cheeto jokes. We let them down.
Saturday Night Live, who spent the first half of their season skewering Trump via Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon's confident Hillary Clinton, must have taken the results especially hard.
Luckily, they had David Chappelle ready to drop some inconvenient truths just when we needed him back the most.
Whether you're still in shock or you're unable to understand why people are so upset, we hope that Dave Chappelle's words of wisdom will enlighten you–or, at the very least, make you laugh.
At first, we just wished they would ditch the sketches and just let him hijack the whole show, but let's be real: we all needed that Walking Dead sketch real bad.
And hopefully, since Netflix seems to hand out comedy specials like Oprah hands out cars, we won't have to wait too long for more Chappelle. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US AGAIN!
2. The election results were surprising– but not that surprising
Yeah, every major media outlet―both left and right―were completely blindsided by Trump's win, but when you trace America's history of intolerance, is this that shocking?
I'm gonna stop you right there, rogue Trump supporter that wandered over to a listicle about SNL (you must be new around here). Nobody is saying that EVERYONE who supported Trump is an bigot―but while you might not be openly joining in on racism, you are overlooking it.
Also heads up, coastal elites, before you get too, "Wow, as a New Yorker, I feel soooo separated from all that!" try looking around a little.
Chances are, you already feel this. But if you don't, then consider yourself lucky– dare we say, privileged– that you're not faced with systemic prejudices every day.
And if you want to stand in solidarity, sure, you can wear a safety pin or whatever the kids are doing, OR you could actually speak out.
Most importantly, you should definitely try listening to your communities. Here is one of our own writer's accounts of how Trump's America is already affecting New York's LGBTQ community. Also, NYC has one of the most, if not THE most, segregated school systems in the country. Yep.
3. Ugh please don't start a fight in our FB comments over this one.
We certainly mean no disrespect to our boys in blue, and Chappelle didn't either. It's incredibly brave to sign up for an often thankless, dangerous job. That still doesn't mean that officers don't sign up to put themselves in danger.
His follow up elaborated, "I'm going to tell you right now, if I could quit being black today, I'd be out of the game."
Wherever you stand (hopefully it's pro-cop, pro-black lives because THAT EXISTS, WE SWEAR), we should all try to acknowledge that it's incredibly unfair to expect random citizens, whether they be a 12-year old, a teenager, or even an adult to conduct themselves in a way that police officers are trained to.
It's unfair and makes no sense. Come on.
4. On Obama's America
(Okay, so Tumblr let me down and nobody gif-ed any of this part that I wanted so here's that Walking Dead Chappelle's Show skit I was talking about earlier ICYMI.)
Anyway, towards the end of his monologue, Chappelle pretty much dropped the comedy and shared a story about visiting the white house for a BET sponsored party filled with Black Americans.
I'm literally just gonna share the entire story here because if for some reason the millions of people who now have healthcare (for now, sorry to be a buzzkill) isn't enough to make you thankful that Barack F*cking Obama was our president, hopefully this will.
"It was a really, really beautiful night. At the end of the night everyone went into the West Wing of the White House and it was a huge party. And everybody in there was black — except for Bradley Cooper, for some reason.
And on the walls were pictures of all the presidents, of the past. Now, I’m not sure if this is true, but to my knowledge the first black person that was officially invited to the White House was Frederick Douglass. They stopped him at the gates. Abraham Lincoln had to walk out himself and escort Frederick Douglass into the White House, and it didn’t happen again, as far as I know, until Roosevelt was president.
Roosevelt was president, he had a black guy over and got so much flack from the media that he literally said, 'I will never have a n—-r in this house again.'
I thought about that, and I looked at that black room, and saw all those black faces, and Bradley, and I saw how happy everybody was. These people who had been historically disenfranchised. It made me feel hopeful and it made me feel proud to be an American and it made me very happy about the prospects of our country."
5. We're all on the same team.
Don't worry, we won't get too kumbaya on you guys.
However, this is what you can tell your Aunt Jenny when she passive aggressively posts about all the "negativity" surrounding the new president elect.
I can say in pretty certain terms that no one in any minority group is rooting for Trump to fulfill all his promises to ban Muslims, overturn Roe v. Wade, and overturn pro LGBTQ legislation. Sharing that sentiment isn't "negativity."
We would LOVE if Trump ended up "not being that bad" like so many people are claiming.
Unfortunately, no one GIF-ed the end of Chappelle's monologue (THANKS TUMBLR), but here you go: "I’m going to give him a chance and we, the historically disenfranchised, demand that he give us one, too."[Feature Image Courtesy NYDailyNews]