It’s been over a month since the ball dropped in Times Square , and by now the gyms are starting to empty out. All of the running shoes, yoga mats, and Nike shirts with cute sayings have all made it to the chair, the mysterious black hole in every apartment from which nothing returns.
This is nothing new: while New Yorkers are great on staying on track with their Netflix watch lists, they absolutely suck at sticking to resolutions.
There’s no reason to eat kale when you can eat the good old carb-filled blood sugar bomb that is an everything bagel.
Are you already tired of your plank challenge and raw diet? No judgement. As the statue of Liberty says, give us your tired, your lazy, your weak-willed masses (okay, might be paraphrasing), and we’ll show you how to enjoy yourself with some of NYC’s most decadent eats.
There’s always next year to stick to a resolution.
1. Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches, Holey Cream (796 9th Ave)
Donut, icing, ice cream: this holy trinity is one of the closest things to heaven. Yet it’s definitely more sinful than anything, so the Hell’s Kitchen location is quite fitting.
With a varied menu featuring cupcakes, ice cream, rainbow donuts, and so much more. They even have fat free frozen yogurt, but come on, don’t play yourself.
2. Mac and Cheese Spring Rolls, Cafeteria (119 7th Ave)
Ah, gourmet mac and cheese: the definitive marker of gentrification. While many restaurants have gotten in on the flavored mac and cheese craze, this Chelsea spot has them all beat.
They have taken their cheddar and fontina mac, rolled them into spring rolls, fried them to a perfect golden hue, and served the creation with a smoked gouda dipping sauce. Is anyone else's mouth watering?
3. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on a BEC bagel, The Bagel Store (349 Bedford Ave)
A bacon, egg, and cheese from the corner store is the quintessential New York order. Yet while you can’t go wrong with the sandwich, you can improve on it, as The Bagel Store has done.
The spot known for the rainbow bagel craze has created the most perfect bagel besides an Everything: they have baked cheddar cheese, bacon, and egg into the dough of the bagel itself. Oh. My. God.
4. The Titanic, Carmines (200 West 44th St)
The real Titanic may have been a disaster, but this dessert is anything but.
Carmine’s, the family style Italian spot known for big portions and amazing chicken parm, has been making this mammoth dessert for years, and it’s essentially a banana split on steroids. With an entire dense chocolate cake, bananas, strawberries, half a dozen scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, a sh*t-ton of whipped cream, and chocolate pirouline sticks.
It’s meant for sharing, but...
5. Poutine, Jacob’s Pickles (509 Amsterdam Ave)
Pickles are great and made even better through frying, but the upper west side location has so much more than that. The American comfort food menu has everything from grits to biscuits to collard greens, but the poutine is a must try. The Canadian dish is composed of crispy fries piled high with gravy, melted cheese, and hollandaise.[Feature Image Courtesy eatupnewyork]